Motherhood Under Pressure: The Mental Health Struggles of Moms Today
With the constant scrutiny of social media, especially towards women, the experience of motherhood is arguably more examined than ever. Recent studies indicate that this oversight is significantly affecting the mental health of mothers.
Millennial moms are definitely facing challenges, but Gen Z mothers seem to be navigating an even tougher path. They’re encountering various key issues that modern parents frequently grapple with. Online discussions about the hefty responsibilities tied to parenting, and particularly motherhood, are abundant, and research reflects the toll it’s taking on moms’ mental well-being.
A study from Columbia University and the University of Michigan, released in May, tracked nearly 200,000 mothers from 2016 to 2023, yielding some striking results. In 2016, 1 in 20 mothers described their mental health as “poor”; by 2023, this number had jumped to 1 in 12. In contrast, fathers reported better mental health: only 1 in 22 rated theirs as “poor.”
While the isolation brought on by the pandemic played a role, researchers concluded that more persistent issues, like an unequal division of responsibilities between parents, insufficient parental leave, economic instability, and rising costs, are the primary culprits behind the notable decline in maternal mental health.
Striving for ‘Perfection’: The Burden on Gen Z Moms
A survey from the parenting site What To Expect adds further insight to Columbia and U of M’s findings. After polling over 3,200 mothers, it revealed that parenting anxiety affects both millennials and Gen Z, but it’s particularly intense for Gen Z mothers.
A significant percentage of moms feel the pressure to achieve the unattainable “perfect” parent status. While 83% of Gen Z moms aim for a perfect motherhood score, only 77% of millennials do. When assessing various traits associated with being the “ideal” mom, Gen Z women reported facing difficulties with nearly all of them, except for two.
1. Keeping Kids Engaged
The current expectation that children should always be busy, rather than allowed to independently play and explore, weighs more heavily on Gen Z moms: 48% compared to 34% of their millennial counterparts report feeling this pressure.
2. Allowing Free Time
Ensuring children have ample free time to explore is another concern. This stress affects 39% of Gen Z moms, compared to 30% of millennials.
3. Managing Screen Time
The common debate over screen time is again front and center. While all moms are concerned about it, Gen Z moms worry even more, with 50% expressing concern about their kids’ screen usage, versus 41% of millennials.
4. Family Coordination
The mental load of organizing family activities often unfairly falls on mothers. Gen Z moms report struggling with this more than millennials: 51% compared to 42%.
5. Children Exploring Their Identity
Millennials began to break traditional molds by allowing children to discover their identities without societal pressures. However, Gen Z faces even more intense scrutiny, with 53% worrying about this compared to 45% of millennials.
6. Prioritizing Family Needs
This might be a key reason for declining mental health. Millennial moms report struggling with self-care less often—33% versus 41% of Gen Z moms who find it tough to set boundaries.
7. Teaching Resilience
Raising adaptable children is crucial for today’s moms. Nearly two-thirds of Gen Z mothers express concern about teaching resilience, compared to 58% of millennials, likely due to a generation tendency towards anxiety linked to overprotection.
Social Media Scrutiny and Its Effects
Growing up in the digital age, Gen Z experiences life under constant online observation. Dr. Sheri Lusskin, a perinatal psychiatrist, notes that this contributes to their heightened anxiety about parenting. The pressures of sharing every moment on social media lead to added stress.
Moreover, social media seems to undermine traditional support systems that moms usually rely on for assistance. Although mom-shaming has existed forever, it has reached new heights in this digital environment. Dr. Lusskin emphasizes an important takeaway: perfection isn’t attainable. “You don’t have to be perfect — you have to be good enough,” she said. With our current understanding of parenting, being “good enough” is already an improvement over previous standards.
