As I lift weights, four feels pretty manageable. By eight, though, I’m starting to doubt myself. By the twelfth lateral raise, my lips twitch, and I pause for a second, then push through again. Shoulders shaking, I ditch my 10kg weights by the dog bowl, grab the 15kg ones next to the fridge, and head into deadlifts—definitely more tough.
Welcome to my kitchen workout—heavy weights style. It’s something anyone can do, honestly, if you have a bit of discipline, a little space between the dishes, and about 45 minutes to spare. Get ready for some muscle gains, though grunting is almost guaranteed.
I’ve done this kitchen resistance training before. Last year, I shared a workout I had created, which I found much easier than the hassle of driving to a gym where, well, it can feel a bit condescending. Drawing on class experiences and insights from trainers I spoke to as a health journalist, I crafted a routine with a lot of lighter weights and higher reps. It boosted my muscle endurance and improved my cardiovascular fitness.
It’s crazy—I feel fitter at 45 than I ever have. But, I have to admit, I was hitting a plateau. There are only so many times I can modify exercises or add reps. Like a lot of women I know, I found myself needing a fresh approach. It was time to join the heavier weights club.
The perks of lifting heavier weights are pretty substantial. Beyond just preventing muscle loss that tends to ramp up in midlife (and we’re all aware of that), it can help manage blood sugar levels and bolster bone density, especially as oestrogen levels drop during menopause. Heavier lifting is often better for fat loss than lighter weights since building more muscle increases metabolism—muscle burns more energy than fat, even when resting. So, the more muscle we have, the less we face that midlife spread.
And there’s more; it’s beneficial for brain health too. A 2023 study indicated that lifting weights at about 80% of one’s maximum significantly raised levels of a protein called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), while lifting at 60% didn’t have the same effect. BDNF supports neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to adapt and change.
Casey Johnston, a writer from Los Angeles, recently published a book, A Physical Education, discussing how powerlifting helped break her cycle of unhealthy dieting and exercise. Even though she was running half-marathons and doing cardio regularly, she realized her focus had been too much on burning calories rather than getting stronger. She was always tired, preoccupied with her looks, trying to get toned rather than strong. “I was running more, eating less,” she explained, without realizing that she was losing muscle. Switching to heavy lifting changed her mindset—it became more about how she felt and less about size.
On Instagram, personal trainer Elizabeth Davies, now 41, criticizes the idea of “toning,” calling it a term created to target women conditioned over decades to fear gaining size. “We can’t tone a muscle or sculpt it in the way people think,” she argues. Muscle either grows, stays the same, or shrinks. It’s crucial for health, not just looks.
I find motivation in Alicia Erickson, the Midlife Maven, a fitness enthusiast who’s been at it her whole life. Until recently, though, she had an average build. By 45, her running and CrossFit routine felt taxing. At 49, she switched to weight training, gaining notable strength and muscle definition. “Booties aren’t built with light dumbbells,” she says, radiating confidence.
Jack Hanrahan, a fitness trainer, has observed an uptick in women moving away from lighter dumbbells to heavier weights. “Once you’ve got your form down, heavier lifting is the logical next step,” he notes. “You won’t get stronger unless you challenge your muscles.” He adds that lifting heavier can alter how women carry themselves—feeling strong instills a sense of capability and courage.
Before I joined in, I wanted to confirm it was safe to lift heavier weights at home, given that I wasn’t keen on waiting in line for gym equipment.
“Absolutely,” said Kate Rowe-Ham, a personal trainer guiding midlife women on her app, Owning Your Menopause. “For many, it’s less intimidating to lift heavy weights at home, especially when there’s no one watching.” On her recommendation, I invested in some heavier dumbbells—10kg, 12.5kg, and 15kg—that cost less than a gym membership. I also use a 6kg medicine ball.
Hanrahan pointed out that some worry heavy lifting mandates a gym membership to avoid injuries. However, if you lift slowly and carefully, you should be fine at home. “You can manage heavier weights with fewer reps, so you’re under tension for a shorter time,” he explained. “If you can complete the reps without failing, you’re strong enough. It’s not risky.”
Correct form is essential, though. He stressed that swaying or swinging during a movement raises the injury risk. Straining to the point of failure can lead to poor form, affecting your joints.
Breathing rightly is also key. During exercises that lengthen and load muscles, breathe in through your nose to connect more effectively with your diaphragm. This deeper breathing activates core muscles and stabilizes the spine.
My new routine consists of 20 exercises—13 using heavier weights and seven conditioning movements such as jump squats, crunches, and planks.
I can still manage this in my small kitchen. With the heavier weights, I do fewer reps. Instead of a massive set, I might do three sets of ten shoulder presses, for example. Pulses—smaller movements during a squat—increase muscle tension duration. I take five slow breaths or around 30 seconds between sets.
I’ve also added deadlifts to focus on my glutes and hamstrings and weighted hip thrusts for these muscle groups. “Sitting for too long leads to inactivity in these muscles, so it’s essential to work on our posterior chain,” Rowe-Ham advised. I included bent-over lateral rows and triceps kickbacks for a complete upper body workout. My squats now involve added weights—I’ve combined some 3.5kg weights with my 20kg barbell to squat a total of 23.5kg.
A notable change is that I’ve replaced a spinning session to lift weights every other day, rather than every third day, setting my alarm for an early 5:30 am. It’s tough, but once I’m done, I feel exhilarated.
What’s huge is I’ve noticed my increased ability to burn through food. I eat well but am always hungry. Those moments of indulgence, like chocolate or chips, don’t seem to affect my weight anymore. I’m down six pounds since last summer and my daughter says I look more muscular. I have more energy, and most importantly, I feel stronger. After my workouts, cramming my weights back under the shoe rack, I feel like I can tackle anything.
The heavy weight exercises that have transformed my fitness
Barbell squats
Three sets of 40 reps with a 23.5kg weight
Use a weight you can lift comfortably to rest across your trapezius. Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulder-width, toes out. Keep your back straight as you lower and then push up. I do a set of 20 followed by 20 pulses.
Rows
Two sets of 15 with a 12.5kg dumbbell
Keep your left arm straight on a chair. With your right arm holding a weight, bend forward, keeping your back straight and pulling the weight towards your torso, then lower and repeat on the opposite side.
Biceps curls
Three sets of 12 reps with two 12.5kg dumbbells
Stand with feet hip-width apart. Hold a weight in each hand and curl them to your shoulders while lowering back down.
Weighted lunges
50 reps with two 12.5kg dumbbells, alternating between legs
Stand with feet forward, arms at your sides, and step forward with one foot. Return to start, squeezing your buttocks. I do this 30 times and then pulse for 20.
Weighted calf raises
35 reps with two 12.5kg dumbbells
Stand shoulder-width apart, rise onto the balls of your feet, and lower back down.
Lateral raises
Three sets of 12, 10, 10 reps with two 10kg dumbbells
Stand with weights at your sides, raise your arms to shoulder height while keeping your back straight. Rest between sets.
Deadlifts
Three sets of 15, 12, 12 reps with two 15kg dumbbells
Stand with feet hip-width apart, bend slightly to grasp weights, then return to standing, keeping your back straight.
Freestanding reverse fly
Two sets of 12 reps with two 10kg dumbbells
With arms at your side, lean forward and raise your arms to the side until level with your body.
Hip thrusts
Two sets of 25 with a 15kg dumbbell
Lie on your back, thrusting your hips up while squeezing your glutes.
Crunch with medicine ball
25 reps with a 6kg medicine ball
Lie back, raise legs and torso while holding the ball above your head, and lower slowly.
Russian twists
20 reps with a 12.5kg dumbbell
Lie with knees bent, lifting your torso while twisting from side to side, holding the dumbbell horizontally.
Shoulder presses
Three sets of 10 reps with two 10kg dumbbells
Stand with weights at shoulder height, push them up until your arms are straight, and then lower.
Triceps kickbacks
One set of 15 reps with a 12.5kg dumbbell
Lean slightly forward, with one arm on a chair. Hold a weight in the other hand and extend your arm straight back, before returning to starting position.
