Dear Abby: My sister, “Jenny,” and I have drifted apart after some disagreements. She’s upset with me because she found out that her adult daughter, “Paisley,” moved without telling anyone.
I was surprised to learn this when Paisley emailed me, later disclosing that she had relocated across the country. Jenny and Paisley hadn’t communicated; they had a major argument six months ago and hadn’t reconciled since. When I reached out to both of them, Paisley made it clear she didn’t want to reconnect with her mother.
When Jenny discovered Paisley had moved, she blocked her. She also asked if Paisley wanted her to inform me, and Paisley said no. Our mom had also sent her email to her place, thinking she was still in town, and that’s how we found out. Mom then told Jenny, leading to her blowing up at me. I thought I was doing the right thing. Did I misstep? – Confused in Kentucky
Dear Confused: You didn’t do anything wrong. Your sister took her frustration out on you because it was easier. It’s unfortunate that she and Paisley couldn’t resolve their issues, but that’s sometimes how families work. It seems Paisley chose to move to find some relief from the family drama. You’re not the villain here, and you shouldn’t let anyone label you that way.
Dear Abby: My spouse is always watching video posts on her phone while we’re in the same room. I’ve asked her to use earphones, but she rarely listens. Now, I just turn off the TV and sometimes wait for hours before she stops. I haven’t told her it bothers me. When I try to talk, she points out all my faults and shuts me down. Got any advice? – I’ve heard too much in Ohio
Dear Heard: You have every right to ask for some peace while you’re together. It’s unreasonable for her to expect you to be an unwilling audience. Asking her to use earphones isn’t rude at all. This situation is tough because it seems like a method she’s using to avoid engaging with you.
Consider talking to a licensed therapist together to gain some support. If that’s not possible, my advice would be to find activities outside the house where you can meet others with similar interests. It might just give you both the space you need.
