Dear Abby
About eight months ago, I discovered my husband watching porn online. He acknowledges his frequent viewing but insists it’s just a way for him to unwind, claiming he’ll stop. Still, I can’t help but feel like it’s not enough for him, particularly around our intimate moments and at odd times throughout the day and night.
I struggle with feelings of inadequacy. I can’t shake the thought that he’s seeing bodies that are, well, far more appealing than mine. It’s got me feeling self-conscious about how I look, and I find myself reluctant to let him see me naked now. This wasn’t an issue before, but now I just don’t feel good enough. I’m also unsure if he’s truly stopped watching, which makes trust an issue, since there’s no way for me to find out for sure.
Is there a way to move past these thoughts and rebuild my confidence? – Feeling inadequate in the South
Dear Feeling Inadequate: It’s important to recognize that men often respond to visual stimuli. Many people enjoy porn for entertainment. Just because your husband watches it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Remember, he chose you as his partner before any of this happened.
Your letter reveals a struggle with self-esteem that’s concerning. A great step to take would be to consult a doctor who can recommend a psychologist. This could help you gain a better perspective and regain your confidence.
Dear Abby
After attending my granddaughter’s graduation, I’m feeling down. Amazing photos from the event were posted online without my consent, and I believe it was done with bad intentions by my grandmother. She only posted staged photos of herself, which feels really unfair.
I’m hesitant to address this directly with her, as it might cause conflict. I’ve expressed my feelings online about the importance of privacy when it comes to photography, but she hasn’t taken the hint to remove them.
This situation has brought back less-than-pleasant memories. Why do people seem to have no consideration for others when it comes to sharing unflattering pictures online? – Embarrassed in North Carolina
Dear Embarrassed: Your granddaughter’s graduation was about her accomplishments, not about a contest of appearances. It might help to redirect your focus to celebrating her achievements.
You might even find some humor in this. The truth is, young people aren’t fond of being tagged in unflattering photos either. Embrace the lighter side of the situation, and perhaps the world will join you in a good laugh. Let go of the negativity.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. For further inquiries, please visit dear Abby.
