Dear Abby:

I adore my wife; she truly is my everything. She was my ideal partner, and we used to be intimate about three or four times a week. However, since her hysterectomy, her interest in sex has dramatically declined. She’s okay with scheduling it for specific days, but most of the time, she just doesn’t think about it. Other than this aspect, she’s wonderful. She brings me joy and is incredibly supportive, ensuring I take care of her in all other ways.

I’ve always been someone who values intimacy. My past relationships were filled with passion, and after a night of connection, I feel like a true man. Am I overthinking this? She’s perfect in almost every way, except for this lack of interest in sex. I’ve never been unfaithful, nor have I contemplated divorce, so what should I do? – Stolen in California

Dear Stolen:

You need to discuss your feelings with your wife. Share everything you’ve expressed to me. It might be beneficial for both of you to schedule consultations with her gynecologist. A person’s sex drive can be influenced by hormones, and there might be medical solutions available for her. Additionally, it might help if she sets reminders on her calendar regarding those scheduled dates.

Dear Abby:

I love hosting small dinner gatherings and prefer to keep the guest list to twelve people. Rearranging furniture helps accommodate extra tables and chairs, but as I age, it’s becoming harder to entertain more guests.

During the holidays, we find ourselves without family nearby, so we want to invite others in similar circumstances. Yet, we have more friends than we can seat. I try to rotate invites each year, but when someone isn’t included, it can hurt feelings. Should we just focus on our own celebrations to avoid upsetting anyone? – Happy Hostess in Ohio

Dear Hostess:

You are fortunate to have such a strong circle of friends. As hosts, you and your husband have the right to invite anyone you choose to your holiday gatherings. If someone feels hurt not being invited every year, it’s understandable, but you also have the option to welcome others too. This isn’t rude; it’s just practical.

PS If you’re looking for new ways to spend your holidays, don’t hesitate to explore different options. Some people take to vacationing during this time.

Note: Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, known as Jeanne Phillips, and was started by her mother, Pauline Phillips. To reach Dear Abby, you can visit www.dearabby.com or write to PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.