Dear Abby: Relationship Dilemma
I’ve been in an eight-month relationship with a man who is an exceptional dancer. I’d like to think I’m decent on the dance floor too. The issue arises from the attention he gets from other women when we’re out dancing. Sometimes, it’s like they’re competing for his attention, and we usually just brush it off, but I can’t help but feel frustrated at times. It’s tough to fully enjoy ourselves when I keep getting distracted by their antics.
He understands my feelings and doesn’t seem to be flirting back, which helps. However, I wonder how to deal with this. It’s surprising how some women disregard boundaries when they see someone in a relationship. It’s just not something I experience from men. – Troubled in the West
Response
Your boyfriend is already handling the attention quite well. Maybe take cues from him unless you’re ready to firmly assert, “Hey, he’s taken!” Yes, some women can be rather aggressive and disrespectful, but while we can’t change their behavior, we can definitely work on how we respond to it.
Dear Abby: Communication Issues
I remarried a few years after my first wife died. I thought my new wife was quite different, but they share one frustrating trait: they both avoid using the phone! Sure, they talk to friends and family, but when it comes to business calls, it’s always been up to me to handle things.
My wife won’t call the vet or carpet cleaners; I end up dealing with all those. Even when I call her, she often directs me on what to say and who to talk to. How can I encourage her to pick up the phone herself? – Tired of it in the East
Response
It sounds like your wife might think you’re more knowledgeable about these matters and just might want her input later on. I’ve noticed that sometimes men communicate differently with other men, which can be frustrating. Next time you need to make one of those calls, maybe stand by her and guide her through it—it could be a good way to work together.
Dear Abby: Difficult Colleague
I’m a woman in my mid-30s, working in a moderately successful career. My colleagues and supervisors recognize my hard work, but there’s one colleague I absolutely can’t stand. Just seeing her makes me uncomfortable, though I’m not really sure why. I’d appreciate any advice on how to manage this without jeopardizing my professional reputation. – Hardworking worker in New York
Response
I wish I had more details on how closely you work with this colleague. Remember, your office interactions are professional, not personal. It’s completely fine not to like her, but you’ll still need to interact as necessary. Keeping your distance should help maintain your focus and integrity at work.
