Dear Abby: Seeking Help with Past Trauma

Dear Abby: I’m a survivor of childhood sexual assault. At 52, I find myself struggling to confront memories I buried deep. I’ve been happily married for 14 years, but lately, I’ve been avoiding intimacy with my husband due to these resurfacing memories. I want to report my abuser to the authorities, but my mother is still with him, and I fear that it would hurt her. He also abused my sister and cousin. What should I do? — Tired of a miserable life

Dear Tired: I’m truly sorry for what you’ve endured. I suspect you haven’t sought counseling to process this yet. If that’s the case, now is the time to start. Talk to your sister and cousin about your memories of your mother’s husband’s abuse and see if they can support you in filing a police report. If they aren’t willing to help, consider going solo. Doing so could prevent other young women from being victimized. If your mom is unaware, she deserves to know the truth.

Dealing with Overbearing Friends

Dear Abby: Our longtime friends, “The Smiths,” are driving us up the wall. They’d do anything for us, yet we’re at our wit’s end. Every chat revolves around boasting about their son or grandson, who honestly aren’t anything extraordinary. They never ask about our kids or grandkids.

I’ve even had to stop inviting people over for dinner because our other friends have asked us not to include the Smiths. They monopolize conversations with endless, dull stories that no one finds interesting.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith are quite touchy. If I bring up their behavior, I risk ruining our friendship. What should I do? — Exhausted in Alabama

Dear Exhausted: Once you start excluding the Smiths from dinner, it will likely become harder to include them in other events. They may eventually take the hint, but if not, you’ll need to explain your decision. If you can manage that, you might resolve the issue while helping them understand the impact of their behavior.

Conflicted Feelings for a Friend

Dear Abby: I’ve been in love with a wonderful woman for over 30 years. She’s always in my thoughts and my heart. I think she feels similarly, but I’m unsure how to approach it. I’ve been through a tough marriage that hurt my confidence. I’m scared of losing her as a friend, but it feels like we were meant to be together. How should I openly share my feelings? — Go crazy in the East

Dear Crazy: You mentioned that she “shows signs” of mutual feelings. What signs? How often do you notice them? Both of you are single, but is she available? It might be worth sharing your feelings, but be ready for the possibility that she might not feel the same way.