It wasn’t shocking to see a young girl grappling with her feelings, believing a boyfriend could rescue her. But seeing an adult version of that girl stuck in the same mindset is, well, unsettling.

Taylor Swift’s “Life of a Showgirl” (her 12th studio album, mind you) serves as a cautionary exposition of a middle-aged woman chronically trapped in growth stasis. (Cue Ron Howard: “Hey, that’s the title of the show!”)

This new release has been marked as “explicit” due to its language and sexual themes. However, the real concern lies not with the crude content but rather the emotional vacancy it carries. “Showgirls” feels less like a playlist and more like an analysis of emotional adolescence turned permanent. Swift is not just careless; she embodies a troubling level of immaturity. Let’s critique some tracks to convey this point.

The Call to the Nunnery

Swift’s songs continually ask one question: What does Taylor feel? Sometimes, the emotions are so intense that she has to borrow from notable literary figures, such as William Shakespeare.

In “The Fate of Ophelia,” Swift parallels herself to Hamlet’s unfortunate girlfriend, albeit with some striking departures. Instead of succumbing to despair, Swift’s Ophelia finds salvation in romantic thrill. Why drown when you can leap into passion? It requires exceptional skill to depict sexual longing without causing discomfort. Shakespeare nailed it—Swift seems to miss that mark.

No need to fret; this is Swift’s artistic lens, and her feelings steer the narrative. However, this portrayal isn’t so much empowering as it is suggestive of deep-seated mental struggles. Throw in her expectation that mentioning a prominent literary character grants her intellectual credibility, and it raises serious doubts about her capacity for growth.

This is less a feminist reinterpretation than a rather impressive piece of fanfiction from a college sophomore, where Ophelia dispenses questionable advice to aspiring Hamlets—more on that later.

Feminists might balk at her wish to be rescued by a man, while parents could urge their kids to recognize that neither gender can be relied upon for salvation. Entering a relationship with such expectations frequently leads to disappointment. And this isn’t just parental wisdom; it’s a lesson that recurs in Swift’s own music.

Naughty “List”

Swift’s “sex-positive” Ophelia still clings to her religious roots, though “Showgirls” covers a range of themes. In “Wi$h Li$t,” she finds herself praying for her “attractive best friend.”

Husbands, children, and a request for a basketball hoop in the driveway punctuate this vision. To prevent it from sounding overly wholesome, she sprinkles in some profanity. She readily acknowledges the skepticism of her audience, admitting, “Ever heard something like this before?” She admittingly reflects on past mistakes, saying, “I thought I was right, but I wasn’t”—yes, Taylor, we get it.

While this candid moment appears to reflect self-awareness, it often feels like notes from countless therapy sessions without any real progress. This album captures a sense of romantic exhaustion disguised as wisdom.

On one hand, she admits to needing salvation and acknowledges it must be personal, yet she seeks it in physical connections rather than through faith. It’s unfortunate that younger listeners might overlook this nuance, although it’s understandable given the broader context. It raises an intriguing question—what kind of connection could genuinely save her? Swift addresses this in her next track.

Fierce Competition

Then comes “tree,” and yes, the title might elicit some adolescent laughter for those on Swift’s wavelength.

After the earlier explicitness in “Hamlet,” listeners now face the anatomical metaphor of the redwood tree. “He recognized me and opened my eyes,” she sings, before stating, “His love was the key that opened my thighs.”

Let’s pause for a moment. Swift has made mistakes in her past, but this time could be different, given her newfound evidence: his “Sequoia.” Is it too jaded to suspect this might just pave the way for a new wave of musical agony? I mean, “wood” is already taken.

These lyrics evoke longing for the intellectual charm of pop. Somewhere, Shakespeare’s specter contemplates a restraining order while Hamlet’s ghost bids us farewell.

However, the issue with Swift’s songwriting extends beyond mere taste; it stems from a chaotic worldview. The title “Showgirls” is, in some ways, fitting. Here, Swift entirely lays bare her spiritual emptiness. She craves genuine love, yet years of fleeting attractions have left her soul in tatters.

Taylor’s (Re)version

In real time, we’ve observed Taylor Swift refuse to mature as she ages. Transitioning from the heartfelt angst of her initial album to her latest midlife declaration of self-affirmation, her work exemplifies a troubling elevation of emotional immaturity into artistry. Taylor and her emotions always take center stage. No self-control, no lessons absorbed, no evolution. The pattern? Repeat the same actions, hoping for different results.

Even a celebrated career ends up as a cautionary narrative. Just ask Madonna, still dancing uneasily at 67. Someday, parents might direly imagine a warning: “Shape up, or you’ll wind up like Taylor Swift.”

Some might label me a cranky elder; that’s fine. But Swift might share a bleaker perspective. She relishes the liberty to use strong language and discuss intimate topics yet seems to believe it makes a difference. Ultimately, she runs from the same deep void. And as we all know, the harder we try to escape independently, the closer we drift to a tragic end: spiritual demise.

True salvation only comes through Christ’s love. That Swift has wandered this barren path for so long speaks volumes about worldly allure and the stubborn nature of the soul. Perhaps, instead of Ophelia, referencing Shakespeare’s insightful Fool in King Lear could have served her better. “You shouldn’t have done that until you are wiser.”

But in this album’s sphere, wisdom seems outdated, and self-absorption is celebrated. Swift dazzles us with elaborate costumes and a storyline that leads nowhere. Even as listeners grow weary and look away, we can hold out hope that someday, Swift might discover a more fulfilling resolution. After all, God’s love has defied expectations time and again. Even the most jaded performers often find a second act.