The “Trad Wife” Trend and Competing Ideologies

The growing online trend of “trad wives” consists of small yet noticeable movements among women who advocate for a return to traditional gender norms. This often means focusing on housework and, in some perspectives, submitting to their husbands.

These women typically align with conservative views and are sometimes labeled as anti-feminist. Some see their lifestyle as a form of evangelism. In many ways, the “trad wife” philosophy stands in sharp contrast to the ideas presented in Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Leadership,” which encourages women to challenge societal expectations, pursue risk-taking, and follow their ambitions.

The recent passing of Diane Keaton offers a chance to reflect on these differing ideologies. Keaton lived an unconventional life, marked by her unique fashion choices and the decision to adopt two children as a single woman in her 50s. Her career often involved portraying characters who diverged from the traditional norms.

One notable performance featured her in the role of Louise Bryant, a journalist from the early 20th century, in Warren Beatty’s film “Reds.” The story showcases Bryant’s intense relationship with John Reed, an American communist journalist. An acquaintance pointed out that Bryant was a committed communist, stating, “She only associated with communists.”

In 1917, Bryant traveled to Russia with Reed to cover the Russian Revolution, publishing vivid accounts of their experiences. Hers, titled “Russia’s Red Six Months,” and his, “Ten Days That Shook the World,” became significant works in journalism, the latter now considered a classic.

Bryant defied conventional expectations by celebrating her creativity and sexual freedom during a time when women had limited options. Keaton, in her portrayal, brilliantly captured this spirit of rebellion.

It might be easy to recognize Bryant as a “lean-in” heroine who was ahead of her time. Still, while both the “lean in” and traditional models offer compelling slogans, they often lack an understanding of day-to-day realities for women. For instance, how can a woman dedicate herself to housework if her husband also works full-time to support the family? Or how can she submit to an abusive partner? As someone once expressed, “How can a woman pursue an exciting career?” There’s often a fear that prioritizing family over work could be viewed as a lack of commitment.

After Reed’s death in Russia in 1920, Bryant returned to journalism and married a wealthy man who later became an ambassador. They settled in Paris and had a daughter. It’s complicated—did she live a traditional lifestyle, or was it just a different version of it as an American in Paris? She certainly managed a family while supporting her husband’s ambitions.

However, it wasn’t entirely traditional. “Reds” glossed over details of her life; reportedly, she felt it was unfulfilling to run an upper-class household. Her husband divorced her after his discovery of her alleged affair, leading to a downward spiral of alcoholism and the loss of her children. By the time of her death at 51, most of her contributions had faded from memory, while Reed’s legacy endured.

The labels “trad wife” and “lean in” fall short when it comes to truly evaluating the complexities of life. After all, life is rarely as straightforward as those catchy phrases suggest.