I want to honor my 25th wedding anniversary with my husband but prefer to keep my in-laws out of it.

Dear Abby

My husband and I were discussing our upcoming 25th wedding anniversary and mentioned Hawaii as a potential destination. He reached out to his brother and sister-in-law for advice since they’ve visited Hawaii a couple of times, while we haven’t gone there at all.

Without checking with me first, he suggested to my sister-in-law that the four of us should go to Hawaii together. Now, my in-laws are eager to join us! My husband is supportive of this idea because it’s, well, more affordable. I felt really hurt that I was left out of the conversation. I only found out about this plan when I overheard them discussing the trip’s costs.

I hadn’t imagined celebrating our 25th anniversary with another couple. My husband calls me “grumpy” for not wanting to embrace this new plan, but I believe an anniversary should focus on just the two of us. Am I being unreasonable? — Feeling overwhelmed.

In crowded situations: You’re not being unreasonable. It’s inconsiderate for your husband and in-laws to alter your anniversary plans without your input. You definitely should have been part of this decision. It’s also odd that he resorted to name-calling simply because you were upset.

If you’re uncomfortable with this unexpected change, it might be a good idea to tell your sister-in-law that this arrangement feels wrong and that you’re unhappy with it. You can then decide whether you’d prefer to make the trip with others or perhaps just stay home.

Dear Abby

My father is an avid antiques collector. He visits real estate auctions every weekend and spends his spare time buying items for resale. He takes pride in his knowledge about value.

For my birthday, he gave me an old copy of his favorite book. He claimed it was a first edition, although it’s in pretty rough shape and missing its title page. The problem is, it’s neither the first nor second edition. The cover is incorrect, and it was published later than he said. I suspect that he knew this but chose to remove the title page to make his claim sound true.

I’m unsure why he did that; there could be various explanations, but he keeps boasting about how thoughtful the gift was. Should I address it next time he brings it up? It’s awkward to have inconsistencies floating around. — Concerned Child

A word of advice: Try to be gentle. Avoid thanking your father again and just acknowledge that you recognize he might be joking. If you believed he had been misled by a book seller, I might suggest differently. However, since you pointed out that he is knowledgeable, I’m hesitant to put him on the spot.