Your heart races. You can almost feel your blood surging through your veins. Each glance from him makes you feel exhilarated. Could this be it? Am I falling in love?
Our bodies send us signals that suggest, “This might be the one,” and it’s really quite fascinating. So, how does the experience of falling in love actually work? Is it all happening under the radar? Do our brains and bodies clue us in on when we’ve got that love feeling?
Here are 5 scientific indicators that you might be genuinely in love:
1. You find yourself gazing
According to Dr. Lucy L. Brown, a neuroscientist at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine who has delved into the neural aspects of emotion, your eyes play a crucial role. When you’re in love, you can’t help but fixate on the one you adore.
Humans inherently find eye contact rewarding, and there’s a natural drive to seek the gaze of your romantic interest. “One of the involuntary signs of love is endlessly watching someone, having your eyes continuously drawn to that person,” Dr. Brown explains.
2. You feel euphoric
When you notice you’re bubbling over with excitement about your new crush, it may seem like you’ve had too much coffee. But, it’s actually a different kind of thrill. “Being in love is akin to being high on cocaine,” Dr. Brown notes.
The effects are surprisingly similar: an uptick in energy, elevated heart rate and blood pressure (especially when near them), and difficulty sleeping or eating. Feelings of bliss accompany both love and cocaine use.
The brain produces extra dopamine when you’re in love, not to mention increased levels of norepinephrine, which can speed up your heart, particularly when you see your beloved.
Some psychologists view love as more of an addiction than merely an emotion, given the behaviors it triggers and its “goal-oriented motivational state” nature. Love activates brain areas connected to cravings, much like drug addiction.
3. You crave physical closeness
Visual attraction isn’t the only thing at play. Similar to searching for food when you’re hungry, you engage in proximity-seeking behavior when in love. This can explain why kids often show affection through teasing or playful pushing. When love is in the air, an impulse to touch your partner often develops.
Dr. Bianca Acevedo, a visiting scientist at Stony Brook University, notes that your body tends to lean toward each other subconsciously — a physical sign of the brain’s desire for closeness.
4. They’re on your mind constantly
With those heightened dopamine levels, it’s said that people think about their love interests a staggering 85 percent of the time. This phenomenon is referred to as “intrusive thinking.”
Dr. Brown states, “In the initial stages of love, many can’t help but obsess over their partner. That person occupies their thoughts quite a bit.” It may feel excessive, but it’s usually pretty normal. In fact, “If it’s less than 40 percent of your thoughts, it’s likely not intense romantic love,” she adds.
This level of fixation, while understandable in love, is often likened to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Treatments for OCD often involve serotonin reuptake inhibitors to alleviate these obsessions. This leads scientists to conclude that decreased serotonin levels in the brain might contribute to similar behaviors seen in love.
5. Your feelings are uniquely theirs
Dr. Brown explains that when we seek out a mate through romantic love, we typically desire a lasting relationship with deep feelings for just one person.
On the other hand, lust is more about wanting physical connection rather than emotional bonds. Lustful desires might lead to more casual relationships.
A 2002 study suggests that if someone truly feels “in love,” the yearning for emotional union outweighs the desire for physical pleasure. This study concluded that we seek emotional and physical intimacy with one specific individual, evolving from an innate drive for continuous companionship and reproduction.
“Love functions as a survival instinct, similar to hunger or thirst,” Dr. Brown remarks. Our desire for love parallels our need for sustenance. Though we might not perish without love as we would without food, research indicates that people in relationships typically have longer, healthier lives and an enhanced sense of well-being. Friendships and familial love can sometimes fulfill our need for romantic love, too. Still, the kind of love sought often depends on one’s hormonal state and current needs. But, it certainly doesn’t last forever.
Eventually, the heightened feelings and bliss associated with romantic love start to fade. “You can’t maintain that forever; you’ll never be able to accomplish anything!” Dr. Brown laughs. “It’s too intense to sustain. Even the most passionate love doesn’t last more than six months.”
However, as those intense feelings diminish, a deeper sense of attachment forms, which tends to foster long-term relationships.
“While attachment alone might work, it’s really beneficial for couples to start with romantic love. They remain together, reminiscing about the warm, positive feelings from that initial connection.” This way, couples can maintain their bond, passing that attachment on to their children.
So, love doesn’t merely fade; it transforms. Regardless of the signs or studies, if you’re experiencing love, you know it. Even Dr. Brown concurs: “You recognize it when it happens.”
