My old best friend says she was just in my life to help my mom.

Dear Abby

After my father took his own life, my mother moved us across the country. I was only 13 at the time, and I kept my father’s death a secret from everyone.

Now, 50 years later, a best friend from high school has ended our friendship because I didn’t support her political views. Her parting remark was, “The only reason I was nice to you is because your mother told me how your father died.” It’s puzzling, really. I had plenty of friends back then, served as senior class president, and have had a fairly successful life since.

I’ve always been there for my friends during their tough times, whether dealing with marital issues or other personal struggles. But now, grappling with this unexpected cruelty from a long-time friend is hard to process. I’m really looking forward to any advice you can give. — Grappling in San Francisco

Dear Grappling,

Your friend’s comments were indeed mean and unnecessary, clearly designed to hurt you.

It’s impressive how strong you are. Your family faced a trauma so significant that it led to a major relocation, yet you managed to thrive in your new life. You have built a successful career and are well-liked by your colleagues. Count those blessings.

The person you describe may have been a friend once, but it seems she has chosen to distance herself under the pretense of political differences. Maybe it’s a good thing she’s revealed her true nature, as this frees you from her negativity.

Dear Abby

My wife and I have been together for nearly 40 years, though we’ve had our share of difficulties. Her brother moved in unexpectedly about a decade ago and has always been dramatic. Lately, he has taken to yelling in hopes of getting some peace.

We live in a small house, and I worry about losing my temper whenever he disrupts my sleep. I’m also disabled and depend on Social Security, yet I feel half of this house belongs to me. My wife told her brother he can’t disrespect me, but I don’t want to spend my remaining years in this situation. It feels unbearable. I love my wife, and she’s done a lot for me, but not in this instance. I would really appreciate your advice. — Crowded in California

Dear Crowded,

What do you mean by your wife “smuggling” her brother in ten years ago? Did he just plan on a short visit that became permanent? As part-owner of the house, you should have the right to live there without feeling overwhelmed by him.

It might be wise to consult a lawyer to understand your rights as a spouse in California. If the house is sold, you could receive half its value, which may improve your situation. Alternatively, maybe it’s time for both you and your wife to ask your brother-in-law to find a new place to stay.