In the past, specifically the 20th century, high school girls often fantasized about their future weddings, poring over magazines full of bridal gowns and bridesmaid dresses. Today, though, many of these same girls in the 21st century seem to be postponing the idea of marriage and children, concentrating instead on their college education and careers.
According to a Pew Research Center study analyzing survey data from the University of Michigan in 2023, only 67% of 12th graders in the U.S. expressed a desire to eventually marry. This is a drop from 80% in 1993. On top of that, just 51% of people believe they’ll stay married to the same partner for life, and about 48% want to have children.
Interestingly, boys are more inclined to want marriage—74% compared to 61% of girls. It’s a notable shift from 1993 when 83% of girls and 76% of boys had similar aspirations regarding marriage.
Possible causes of shift
The internet is buzzing with discussions about why these attitudes have changed. A common view is that women are now more educated, career-focused, and financially independent, enabling them to purchase homes and cars just like men. Back in the ’70s, a woman often needed a co-signer to secure a loan; lenders could deny her application without one. Furthermore, women weren’t legally able to open a bank account until the 1960s.
As opportunities for women grow, their reliance on men is diminishing for practical reasons. Concurrently, the institution of marriage has faced criticism for decades. The introduction of “no-fault divorce” saw divorce rates double from the ’60s to the ’80s, making separation more commonplace.
Living together before marriage has become the norm. Ironically, a study by the National Library of Medicine suggests that couples who live together prior to getting married report higher levels of dissatisfaction and higher divorce rates than those who marry first.
Dating has become difficult
Another factor that may influence young women’s perceptions of marriage could be the increasing complexity and difficulty of dating. A significant portion of American adults—47%—share this sentiment, with 55% of women believing dating is tougher than it was a decade ago. The concerns range from risks associated with online encounters, such as fraud or harm, to the impersonal nature of dating apps, making it feel harder to find genuine connections.
Single Christian women often face unique challenges in dating. Many are looking for partners with similar beliefs, but the disparity in the number of single women versus men in churches is notable. Some individuals feel that the church isn’t an ideal environment for finding suitable partners, leaving many feeling overlooked and pressured to marry to gain acceptance.
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