Dear Abby: No Double Standards
Dear Abby: My wife, married to me for seven years, often secretly visits her ex-husband, both with and without me. Yet, she prohibits me from reaching out to or visiting any women from my past unless she’s there with me.
She suffers from severe depression and is on medication but refuses counseling. Her family mentioned she was unfaithful in her previous marriage. Despite my loyalty, I’m troubled by her spending time with this ex, who’s also a long-term friend. Should I ignore this, or is it reasonable for me to feel angry? connecticut upset
Dear Upset: You absolutely have every right to be upset. It seems there’s a double standard at play here. If you’re content living by her rules while possibly ignoring potential infidelity, that’s your choice. Still, it’s you who appears to need guidance, not her. If your marriage were fulfilling, you probably wouldn’t be reaching out to me.
Dear Abby: Birthday Bill Surprise
Dear Abby: I was invited to a birthday dinner at a well-known restaurant, where I brought a nice bottle of wine and a small gift. There were ten of us, including guests flying in from Chicago and LA.
As we enjoyed our meal, the birthday person excused himself. Moments later, the waiter presented the bill, revealing that all of us were to cover his celebration, resulting in a charge of $99 each.
I paid without a word, feeling taken aback. I don’t expect friends to foot the bill when I invite them. After sharing my feelings with a couple of friends, they agreed this was unacceptable. Is this something considered normal now? stunned in san francisco
Dear Stunned: I can’t say if this is the new norm, but when people are invited to celebrate, it typically falls on the host to cover the costs. Of course, if it’s implied that everyone should chip in, that changes things. In the future, don’t hesitate to clarify whether the bill will be split before accepting invitations.
Dear Abby: Sneezing Etiquette
Dear Abby: I’m one of those unfortunate individuals who has loud, violent sneezes. It’s manageable at home, but how can I keep it quieter when I’m out or at work? Holding back can really strain my back and abdomen. — sneezing in new york
Dear Sneezy: Trying to suppress a sneeze might not be the healthiest option. However, carrying a handkerchief can help muffle the noise when you’re in public.
