Introducing New Advice Columnists

Meet our fresh advice columnists, Gail Rudnick and Kim Murstein. I’m the straightforward host of a popular podcast.

We dive into everything — from family disagreements and friendships to finances, relationships, and intimacy. These two native New Yorkers tackle sensitive issues from various angles, offering insights about tough love that you might find refreshing.

If you want your questions addressed, head over to our site and let us know what you need help sorting out.

First Question

Q: My sex drive is much lower than my partner’s, and it’s starting to feel like a duty rather than something enjoyable. How can I discuss this without damaging our relationship?

Grandma Gail: It’s not uncommon. Some folks are just more interested in sex than others. Hormones play a big role here. It should feel a bit spontaneous. If you over-schedule it, well, it can become dull. You can’t just announce, “We’re having sex Tuesday at 7 PM while the kids are busy.” It needs to feel organic.

Kim: Identifying who typically initiates can help. If it’s your regular partner, you might say, “Next time, I’ll take the lead.” And I think it’s best to do that when you’re feeling good.

Grandma Gail: You don’t need to say, “I’ll do this next time.” Just go for it.

Kim: The reality is that different people naturally have different drives, regardless of their partner.

Grandma Gail: Exactly. While we can’t change that, we can certainly add some fun. Maybe when they come home, a bathrobe open and ready. Or I like to cook in an apron—completely naked underneath!

Kim: Where did you pick that up?

Grandma Gail: Oh, I’ve always embraced my sensual side. It’s about enjoyment. Don’t stress. Even a kiss or a hug can feel intimate.

Kim: Yes! You don’t have to be in the mood for full-on sex to connect with your partner. That kind of intimacy is completely valid.

Second Question

Q: I suspect my father might be seeing someone else. Should I talk to my mother about my doubts?

Grandma Gail: No, don’t share your suspicions. Investigate first. If you find out he’s involved with someone else, then maybe. But make sure you have solid evidence before bringing it up.

Once you put it out there, it’s out for good. That could lead to family troubles.

Kim: If you’re certain, approach your father first before mentioning it to your mother.

Grandma Gail: That sounds like a wise plan.

Kim: I’d suggest saying, “I know this. Be honest with me. If you don’t tell Mom, I will. But it’s better for you to discuss this with her.”

Grandma Gail: Good thinking, Kim!

Kim: My heart really goes out to this person. It’s a heartbreaking situation; not easy at all.

Grandma Gail: But these things do happen. I think you gave some solid advice there.