Dear Abby: With my baby due in five months, my doctor has advised that anyone visiting the newborn within the first three months should be up to date on certain vaccinations—like Tdap, influenza, COVID-19, and RSV for those over 60. We’ve decided to stick with this guidance.
However, some family members are hesitant about getting vaccinated and would rather explore other options, which seem less effective, like testing and wearing masks. It complicates things, especially with younger kids involved. My niece is just three years old. When she was born, we ensured our two children (aged three and five) were vaccinated because that’s what my sister wanted.
Honestly, I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and anxious about discussing this with my family. It’s frustrating, and I feel a bit angry about it. I’ve set clear boundaries, but they haven’t really been respected or understood. Any advice would be appreciated. — Expectations in Washington
To those anticipating it: Once your baby arrives, the primary responsibility for their care lies with you. It’s crucial to heed your doctor’s advice for your child’s safety. If family members aren’t willing to comply with your wishes, especially considering the risks, it might be best to keep some distance from them in those early weeks.
Dear Abby: My adult daughter has been in a domestic violence situation for close to five years, and my husband and I have supported her as best we can. During her struggle, she claimed I had been abusive toward her as a child. I truly don’t recall behaving in any such way, and neither does my husband or his siblings.
She seems to wrestle with her memories, especially since she didn’t recognize her recent relationship as abusive. I’ve been encouraging her to pursue individual and group therapy, but she’s resistant, in part because she doesn’t believe there was any abuse. It feels like she’s redirecting her anger from her relationship onto me. I’ve pointed out the warning signs about her partner, but she maintains her defense of him and holds me accountable for her pain.
Can you provide guidance on how to navigate this situation? It’s really harming our family dynamic. — Stunned in Delaware
Dear Stunned: Your daughter seems to be processing a lot of complicated feelings. Suggesting therapy was a good move. I would recommend family therapy, where everyone can share their perspective. Sometimes, individuals in abusive relationships struggle to see the full picture and end up blaming others for their situation. A qualified psychologist could help steer your daughter back on a healthier path.
