Reader Seeks Advice on Supporting Housekeeper

A reader from The New York Times recently posed an amusing yet thought-provoking question to columnist Max Read.

They wrote, “My housekeeper has been with me for a few hours every other week since 2019. We have a strong, professional relationship, but I don’t know much about her personal life. Still, if she ever needed anything beyond work, I would want to help her.” The reader was unsure about how to approach the subject, especially given their lack of knowledge about her immigration status and the fact that she doesn’t speak English as her first language. They wondered if it would be appropriate to offer support or if that might be overstepping.

It’s worth noting the underlying implications here. The reader seems to be grappling with an uncomfortable reality: “I hired someone who might be here illegally, right?”

This eagerness to express solidarity seems almost ironic. The reader wants their housekeeper to know they’re on her side, even if there exists an imbalance of wealth and power. There’s a kind of performative sensitivity at play here, as they seek to navigate the complexities of their position without causing offense.

Reid commented that while the reader’s intentions are admirable, they risk complicating the relationship. He noted that such overtures could lead to awkward conversations, especially when considering the current climate around immigration enforcement.

Mr. Read advises against probing into the legality of domestic workers, suggesting instead a simple, general approach. “Keep your introduction short. You might say something like, ‘I want you to know that if you ever need help with anything—not just work—you can call me anytime.’ Who knows, she might already have your number.”

Interestingly, one of the most humorous scenarios could arise if the reader inadvertently helps a legal immigrant instead—something reminiscent of a storyline from a sitcom.