Concern About Relatives’ Cannabis Use

Dear Abby,

I recently hosted some young relatives for five days, both in their early 30s. They have steady jobs and earn decent salaries, but they seem to spend their money as soon as they get it. What really concerns me is their heavy marijuana use.

Recreational cannabis is legal where they live, as well as where I am, so I suppose it wasn’t unexpected. During their stay, they smoked joints before and after every meal, even throughout the day—my guess is around 5-7 joints daily. They kept mentioning how much stronger the local cannabis was compared to what they could find at home. When I suggested they might want to cut back a bit, one of them just shrugged and said, “I’m on vacation.”

They also consumed a lot of high-caffeine energy drinks between smokes, and honestly, I noticed some signs of anxiety and paranoia in both of them. Plus, they had been driving a rental car after smoking. If they had gotten pulled over, well, it could’ve been a serious situation.

I didn’t say anything during their visit, but I’ve got to admit, if they had seen me cracking open a bottle of wine at breakfast and then finishing off several more by day’s end, I think they would have expressed concern. So, am I overreacting here?

I’m not sure if this kind of behavior is their norm or just a holiday spree. Should I say something now that they’ve left, or just let it go? — Oregon Observer

Dear Observer,

How your relatives manage their money isn’t your business. However, you definitely can express your worry about their cannabis consumption and the potential danger of drinking and driving. Even if marijuana is legal, using it in certain situations, especially when driving, isn’t advisable. It can impair reaction times and put everyone on the road at risk.

Dear Abby,

My fiancé and I have been living with his parents for two years now. We’re ready to move out, but they seem to want us to stay forever. I’m planning to leave soon, but I want to avoid any drama. His father has been rude to me and often fights with my fiancé. I don’t want my daughter to grow up in this atmosphere. Should I just leave, or do I need to explain our plans first? — Enough was enough in the South.

Dear Enough,

Your letter feels a bit incomplete. Instead of sneaking away or getting upset, you and your fiancé should have a calm conversation with his parents about your plans to move out. It’s only fair to let them know, given they’ve accommodated you for the past two years. Try to do it as smoothly as possible.