Parents and Estate Sales
Dear Abby: My parents have always been supportive, which I appreciate. However, seeing them deal with age-related issues, especially my mom’s rheumatoid arthritis, is hard for me. To help them out, I pay for a monthly cleaning service to keep their large home in order. I’m glad to do it, but I’m starting to feel a bit frustrated.
Recently, they’ve been going to estate sales and bringing home all sorts of items—furniture, dinnerware, seasonal décor—despite having limited space. They already have two fully decorated accessory dwelling units on their property. Yet, even with just the two of them, they keep accumulating more stuff.
This worries me, not just because of the cramped spaces and physical effort required, but also because they’re retired and living on a fixed income. It seems silly for them to pay for cleaning services when it’s becoming harder to maintain cleanliness. How can I express my concerns without coming off as controlling or ungrateful? — Frustrated with them in the South
Divorce and Seeking Reconnection
Dear Frustrated: It would be intriguing to understand your parents’ motivations. Have they developed a hoarding habit? Do they enjoy visiting estate sales for entertainment? Some people find hidden gems at these sales, often unaware of the true value of what they come across.
You might have missed the opportunity for a straightforward discussion with them. Considering the size of their property, they might not actually need your financial help with cleaning services.
Dear Abby: My wife of 30 years asked for a divorce because I wouldn’t leave my job and move closer to her parents. That was 14 years ago. Our two sons were in college, and despite my efforts to work things out, she grew bitter and insistent on divorcing me.
Five years ago, I remarried someone who treats my sons, now 36 and 35, with genuine kindness. Things were relatively calm until my ex-wife ramped up her negative comments, causing the boys to cut ties with me completely. Now at 80, I’m doing well, but I want to reconnect with my sons before it’s too late. Any advice? — Struggling in California.
Dear Struggling: Consider writing a letter to your sons expressing your love, how much you miss them, and your desire to reconnect. The choice to respond will be theirs, and they might have different perspectives now that they’re adults. If they choose not to engage, be prepared to continue enjoying your life regardless.
