Dear Abby Letters
Dear Abby: I have a neurological disorder that makes it hard for me to keep up with friends from my past. I don’t really talk about the issue unless someone asks. I can still drive, but walking is tough for me. I have a supportive husband who helps a lot, and while I’m grateful for what I can still do, my limitations are frustrating.
It’s challenging to explain to people who seem to doubt my situation. I deal with polyneuropathy and have undergone seven back surgeries. Arthritis affects all of my joints, and I live in constant pain, though it often seems invisible to others. I want to express to people that there are still things I want—and can—do. I’m just tired of not getting calls even when I’m home. How can I get that across? — Down but not out in Rhode Island
Dear Down: By not sharing your struggles, you might feel even more isolated. Not every disorder is visible, and your friends might think you’re avoiding them because of your situation.
You don’t have to make a grand statement, but it’s important to discuss your challenges with close friends. Genuine friends will try to understand and support you once they know what you’re facing. As you begin to open up, I believe your words will reach others too.
Dear Abby: My niece just married her second husband two months ago. They asked for money in place of gifts for a future home. Instead of contributing to that, I gave her cash and cards to save before the wedding. I haven’t heard a single word of thanks since then.
Recently, we had a family gathering for a birthday, and she didn’t mention the gift. I could maybe overlook the absence of acknowledgment, but it still stings. Should I talk to her father or another aunt she’s close to about this? She has invited everyone else from our side of the family over, but my husband and I were not included. I feel let down by her actions. Am I being too sensitive? — Disgruntled Aunt in Texas
Dear Aunt: You’re not overly sensitive; your niece’s lack of gratitude is indeed hurtful. Even if she couldn’t write a note, seeing you at the birthday party would have been a perfect opportunity for her to thank you in person.
Considering how you and your husband are being excluded from family events, it’s understandable to be curious about her behavior. It wouldn’t hurt to have a careful conversation with an aunt you trust to get a better understanding, rather than approaching your brother about it.
