Should you give a tip to the bartender at a wedding? Important info for guests to understand now

Tipping Etiquette at Weddings: What You Need to Know

While a 15% to 20% tip is common at restaurants or bars, weddings have their own set of rules. As summer wedding season approaches, questions about tipping can get a bit confusing. For instance, “Should I bring cash to tip the bartender?”

According to guidelines from WeddingWire, couples are usually advised to pay a 15% to 20% gratuity upfront to the catering service, provided this isn’t included in the venue contract. This means guests typically aren’t expected to tip out of their own pockets.

Diane Gottesman, an etiquette expert from the Texas Protocol School, points out that it’s considered poor form to have guests carrying cash or credit cards for tipping at weddings.

When organizing a wedding, hosts generally choose between an open bar, where all drinks are covered by them, and a cash bar, where attendees pay for their drinks.

“When looking at the difference between an open and cash bar, open bars traditionally include tips in the bartending cost,” Gottesman explains. She emphasizes that this situation is well-understood and generally accepted.

On the flip side, cash bars might come into play as a way to save on expenses. According to Gottesman, these are often the preferred option for couples trying to manage their budgets while still providing food and drinks without footing the full cost of alcohol.

Some couples opt for a partial open bar, offering complimentary beer and wine but requiring guests to pay for more expensive options.

In such cases, guests might find themselves having to bring cash if the couple only covers certain drinks. “If couples are only tipping for beer and wine, there may need to be a tip container for those drinks,” Gottesman states. She argues that having tip jars at open bars can put guests in an awkward position.

“I just don’t think it’s right to ask for extra tips unless it’s a cash bar,” she remarks, noting that it feels inappropriate to mix guests with paying customers. It creates an uncomfortable ambiance where guests may feel obliged to contribute more than what’s necessary.

However, holding onto a little cash isn’t a bad idea just in case. Even if the main tip is covered, special services like valet parking might prompt an additional tip if offered extra assistance.

“If someone is providing a service, like bringing your car right to you, a small extra tip is always appreciated,” Gottesman suggests.

The best strategy for couples to ease any confusion is straightforward communication. Whether it’s an open bar or something different, it’s smart to clarify details on the wedding website. “Let your guests know what’s coming. It can really help them be prepared, whether that means bringing cash or not,” Gottesman advises.