Across both the UK and the US, there’s a concerning rate of suicides among young men that seems to escape the attention of those in power. It appears that government action has been stalled as a result.
In the UK, the spotlight is on men of all ages—boys dropping out of school, young men in their twenties caught in a cycle of temporary jobs and loneliness, and men in their thirties succumbing to alcohol and exhaustion. Meanwhile, in the US, the suicide rates among young males are also alarming, overshadowing overdose deaths, which primarily affect women.
When a young man seeks help in therapy, he often encounters soft-spoken counselors and gentle nudges toward emotional vulnerability.
Yet every time this issue arises, the refrain is the same: “Why don’t these men seek therapy?” It’s a simplistic view, as if men were willfully ignoring a perfectly good support system.
Opening Up
Most men don’t avoid treatment due to a fear of healing; rather, the entire system seems designed with a different demographic in mind.
Take a look around any typical psychology department or counseling office. You’ll notice a predominance of women—in training, staff roles, and leadership positions. The majority of therapists, in both the UK and the US, are women.
This is not inherently a negative observation; many female therapists are skilled. However, this gender imbalance means the therapeutic environment often reflects female norms, communication styles, and emotional expressions.
This isn’t a conspiracy; it’s an acknowledgment of how differently men and women experience psychological distress. Women may vocalize concerns and emotions, while men often internalize their struggles until it becomes overwhelming, sometimes leading to silence or breakdowns. Women might express anxiety through conversation, while men might pull away.
So, when a young man enters therapy in a fragile state, he’s often met with a framework that doesn’t resonate. He is urged to “open up” and “describe his feelings,” but he may not feel understood. Instead, he finds himself in a space that feels foreign.
On Staffing
This feminization of therapy culture can leave men grappling with their emotions, like strangers in an unfamiliar land.
This isn’t the therapists’ fault; it’s symptomatic of the system.
It’s not a popular opinion, but men statistically respond better to male therapists. This isn’t a comment on women’s capabilities. It’s that, no matter how skilled, female therapists can’t fully relate to the male experience. Just as men may struggle to understand the female experience entirely.
Men dealing with job losses or relationship breakdowns often don’t want to explain the shame they feel to someone who hasn’t lived it. Some may resist doing so for fear of being seen as weak.
And yes, they could be mistaken in their perceptions. But suffering can cloud judgment, making individuals hesitant.
This is why men often feel a sense of relief when they engage with a male therapist—someone familiar with the unspoken codes of silence, brevity, and the humor that conceals deeper feelings. Someone who knows that vulnerability in men can be cloaked in wit or annoyance.
For now, though, it seems the expectation is for men to adapt to this system rather than the other way around.
The Societal Shift
Unfortunately, the statistics indicate that suicides will keep rising. Young men continue to vanish—fathers, sons, and brothers. The media asks, “What’s happening with men?” yet seems to overlook the problem’s complexity.
If the situation involved young women, there would likely be an immediate societal response. There would be funding, campaigns, and rapid changes within educational institutions. Support systems would be redesigned promptly to assist those in need.
However, the lack of response is attributed to the perception that men are inherently strong, that they will always bounce back.
I suppose the cruel irony here is that the very traits that lead men to resist seeking help—feeling misunderstood and misplaced—are often the same traits driving them toward despair in the first place.
Unless the mental health field can adapt to connect with men in ways that truly resonate, we may keep witnessing tragic outcomes, all while society acts surprised.
