FOXBOROUGH, Mass. — The weather forecast calls for snow to fall on a 71-year-old man wearing a hoodie. To the New York Jets, he's an abominable snowman.
For the sake of the Jets, and for the sake of their fans, here's a plea to the cruel Gods of football:
Let it snow at Bill Belichick's Foxboro Farewell Parade.
And this time don't run away from the tackle rules. This time, please do not ask for help with the snowplow.
Even if this is, in fact, Bill Belichick's last game as NEP head coach, nothing in the world will make up for watching him win six Super Bowls. For not doing anything to prevent them from winning 11 consecutive AFC East championships and 16 of 17.
Because I lost to him 15 times in a row.
*****15! *****
Of all the head coaches the Jets have hired, some have kissed the ring and some haven't.
Because he was trapped within the evil imperial dynasty that he and Tom Brady ruled over.
For the ridiculousness of Spygate in your backyard.
For serving as NYJ's head coach for over 24 hours, replacing Bill Parcells.
This won't keep him out of the playoffs. He'll be watching them again…just like you and your Jets will be for the 13th consecutive season.
***** 13th place! *****
If this is, in fact, his farewell in Foxboro, it's a farewell for a guy who was overjoyed to watch from under his hoodie as owners changed coaches and general managers and saw ghosts in the revolving door of quarterbacks. It would be nothing more than a “good eviction''. .
This was his 178th loss, tying him with Tom Landry for the most losses of all time, but he's survived this long because he's the GOAT.
For many Jets fans, defeating Belichick in the end and simply improving to 7-10 would likely push the Patriots up the draft position and give them Caleb Williams who will coach them next season, while the Bears will have Justin Fields. It's probably not worth giving him a chance if he signs. Like Drake May or Jaden Daniels.
The Patriots enter Sunday with the No. 3 overall pick in the draft, but still have the No. 2 pick remaining. If the pickers choose the right quarterback this time around, it's certain that Aaron Rodgers will stick with the Jets much longer than he did with the Patriots.
Nevertheless, the thought of losing to Belichick for the 16th straight year would be anathema to Jets players. None of them should or will care about next season or the next Patriots quarterback.
Of course, the Jets have played so badly this season that it would be virtually impossible for Roger Goodell to tell if any of them are tanking.
Perhaps watching Brady win his seventh Super Bowl with Tampa Bay after leaving Belichick would have given him some satisfaction. Of course, it's a different story if Brady was a hate figure to you, but Darth Belichick's reign of terror, which began 22 years ago, never was.
Ask a friend of mine who is a long-suffering Jets fan: If Belichick had stayed on as NYJ's head coach and drafted Brady in 2000, Joe Namath would have kept his No. 12 jersey after Brady retired from the Patriots. How many times have I requested that my number not be permanently discontinued? In September, his iconic number 12 was chosen and he started winning the Lombardi Trophy?
Gillette Stadium in winter. AP
How many times did Robert Saleh's text partner Joe Benigno exclaim, “Oh, that hurt!” Is it Belichick's fault?
Sunday at 1 p.m. Belichick has never been more vulnerable at Gillette Stadium in the winter. Backup quarterback Bailey Zappe is commanding an offense as ineffective as what Trevor Siemian brings to fans braving the snow and rain to thank Belichick. For memories.
There are only three months left until my 72nd birthday. His general manager picked the wrong player, the wrong quarterback. For years, he's been pleading with his players to “do their jobs,” but it doesn't seem to have been on the GM's radar. But he's the general manager.
When Belichick found himself in the warm embrace of Robert Kraft in 2000, there was no foreshadowing of the hell that Belichick would unleash on Woody Johnson and the Jets, but Parcells turned to Al Groh, and that was just a day's work. It lasted a year without any problems.
Belichick says 2020 was “one of the great moments of my career.” “It wasn't a good situation for me and I didn't want to be a part of it, so I didn't participate.”
Belichick's record since Brady left is 29-37, with one loss in the playoffs.
The Jets' record since Brady left Belichick is 19-47.
Regret over lost opportunity.
None of these Jets have lost 15 straight games to Belichick. CJ Mosley joined the Jets in 2019. He appeared in two games that season before suffering a groin injury that ended his season. He opted out in 2020 due to the coronavirus. He played in two games with Belichick as a Raven and lost. His 2015 divisional playoff game stung the most. Joe Flacco Ravens led by 14 points twice.
“[Placekicker] “Justin Tucker was talking about how he felt the ball was flat before the game,” Mosley told the Post. The following week, the Patriots defeated the Colts in the 2014 AFC Championship Game. ***** Deflate gate! ***** Brady was suspended for four games before the start of the 2016 season. Either way, he and Belichick will likely win three more Super Bowls together.
Even if this is effectively his last game as NEP's HC, it's his last chance. The last team he wants to beat when he leaves is NYJ. So beat him. This Sunday, finally show him that you deserved more than a snowball.
If you beat Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft might say to him on Monday, “You couldn't even beat the Jets!”
No, it's not the Super Bowl. If it snowballs, think about how good it would feel to send your damn snowman out into the cold as a loser. Just once. And forever.
