Gutfeld: It’s not just Biden’s age that’s the issue, it’s the neglect of our basic systems

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. You know, before we get into the monologue, we actually got some celebrity Valentine’s Day cards that we wanted to share with you. First of all: Dear Valentine, if you really loved me, you would buy one of my awful books, my love, Brian Kilmeade. Happy Valentine’s Day to the best brother ever…Love, Ilhan Omar. Happy Valentine’s Day, if your face moves, I want to kiss you! I love you, Nancy Pelosi. Happy Valentine’s Day, Joe…but I’m not your sister. I love Jill Biden. And Happy Valentine’s Day, Bulururuguhagapimp! I love you, Joe Biden. Okay. oh. thank you. I smile politely. It feels like you’re at a golf game.

Now, on to the monologue. So this Valentine’s Day, I’m afraid I have to share some bad news about the President. America, he’s not that interested in you. Because as Joe continues to ignore this relationship of ours, we are seeing the consequences of his horrible presidency. Unchecked illegal immigration, rampant crime, runaway inflation, and the possibility of World War III are rising faster than a stain on Joe’s pants. Yet the news from our government is a kaleidoscopic disaster, and Biden and the media are still trying to frame it as progress. For the past week, we’ve been led to believe that Biden’s age is the problem. But is this really the case? There are a lot of old guys like Steve Doocy and Peter Doocy who are doing well. In other words, Joe’s age is not the only root cause of this country’s problems. It’s a disregard for our basic systems. Let’s take the borders. Hell, so does everyone else.

House votes to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Mayorkas over border crisis

On Tuesday, the House of Representatives voted to impeach Alejandro Mayorkas over his handling of the immigration crisis, which is more overdue than that book I stole from the library. It’s for tall people. This is the first time since 1876 that the government has impeached a cabinet minister. This was back when Joe was in diapers, or rather, when he started wearing diapers. Joe, of course, criticized this vote, saying that history would not look kindly on House Republicans’ blatant act of unconstitutional partisanship. After a long conversation with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, he claimed this was unconstitutional. she died Just because you know.

The now Democratic-controlled Senate is likely to dismiss the charges, but the issue is not resolved, and neither are 10 million illegal immigrants. Especially since Joe Biden’s job growth numbers are likely built on illegal aliens. According to the Center for Immigration Studies, all job growth compared to 2019 went to immigrants. In other words, they may be taking our jobs. Seriously. Check out the latest promotions for “Fox & Friends” here. oh. They have more tattoos than Ainsley.

And wait to hear more like this from Boston. In Boston, good souls take immigrants into their homes and turn them into slave labor. One woman even boasted that she took in a Haitian woman and it was like having her own personal chef. Well, when Democrats say Reconstruction, think they’re talking about indentured servitude. I just hope it doesn’t have any impact on the American cotton industry. Yes, it’s just a joke. So, yeah. Immigrants, they’re their own walking pets, but maybe she’s on to something. Maybe I can hire my own masseuse. As you know, the previous owner just left. And thankfully, for now, I have been ruled out as a suspect in his disappearance. So we keep being told that things are great. You know, it’s like if we were Madonna and asked her assistant how her plastic surgery was going, but it’s not exactly great.

Mayor cuts $5 million from public services to deal with crisis, Denver schools overwhelmed by surge of immigrants

Eagle Pass, Texas. More than 4,000 people were in the country illegally on Monday, and more than 4,000 were already detained. (FOX News/Griff Jenkins)

I want cause and effect. If the cause is uncontrolled immigration, the effects are: Denver is cutting all city services to pay for immigration, including the police and health department. 9-1-1 currently requires reservations. New York City has cut services across the board, including potentially canceling the next four classes at its police academy. I love those movies. New York state spends twice as much on services per immigrant as it does for homeless veterans. Chicago’s homeless shelters are overflowing with immigrants, sleeping in O’Hare police stations, city buses and airport terminals, where they live without identification or screening. Yes, but make sure he doesn’t have a 4 oz bottle of shampoo. And in Cali, legal Californians will face increased wait times for health care services as the state projects a $68 billion budget deficit, while Newsom will cut off all government-run health insurance. expanded to illegal immigrants. If you reverse this sentence further, you get “Hot is Greg.” I don’t like you guys.

And how do many of these wrongdoers repay us? They attacked police officers in Times Square, another job Americans are already doing. Right outside that studio where we were leaving, they shot at tourists and police. Thank goodness my assistant saved me from the bullets. Well, now he has one less job evaluation. Now they’re shoplifting, chain-snatching, running organized crime rings, literally dragging women around town on mopeds, and it’s stolen mopeds. In other words, there is one virgin who cannot go to the library. They started a human trafficking ring that branded women behind their ears.

Suddenly, as President Trump once raged, “they’re not doing their best.” He was right, as that includes Venezuela’s major prison gangs. Yes, President Maduro of Venezuela is a communist thug who hates us, emptied our prisons, sent his thugs here, and is not bringing them back. Seems like a solvable problem. Why not send them to Ukraine in bags marked foreign aid? of course. The New York Times recently published an article highlighting how problematic the Republican Party is.

Here are the three House Republicans who undermined Mayorkas’ impeachment vote.

So illegal immigration is a good thing, but it’s still the fault of evil Republicans for not being able to stop it. The funny thing is, the idiots who are now saying we should tighten the border are the same people who said there was no border issue just a few months ago. What has changed? Well, the election is coming up and Joe looks like ****. But I also learned once again that a hole is always greater than the sum of its parts.

For example, glasses and hair extensions have no value on their own, but when you combine them, you can build a career. But at the same time, an endless immigration crisis, rising crime, and depleted resources are pushing America to breaking point. Surprisingly, even a drunk woman can do the math.

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