○In the past, if you misstepped in the aisle, you were sentenced to life in prison. But since the introduction of no-fault divorce laws in Australia nearly 50 years ago, couples have been free to end their ill-fated relationships (after 12 months and one day apart) and ring their wedding bells again. .
It’s no longer uncommon to avoid the stress and expense of marriage altogether, but for many people, the formality and fancy are still alluring, even if it doesn’t work out at first.
Few readers mentioned the religious importance of marriage when asked why they decided to marry more than once, but many readers cited romance and tradition as well as the importance of lasting marriages. It is clear that this system still has a powerful social and legal influence. The bureaucratic benefits of making things official.
“Family celebrations were priceless.”
I married my first boyfriend when I was only 21 years old, but a relationship that started when I was still legally a child inevitably failed to grow into adulthood. Hardly surprising. As adults, we needed to end the relationship to ensure a more functional, happy, and satisfying partnership.
When my second husband and I decided to get married, we agreed that the family celebration and vows of our wedding were priceless. The maturity of this second significant relationship of hers has given me great confidence that I will actually be a good fit with this most lovely person.
Anonymous, Australia
“I didn’t want to get married again until I met my current wife.”
Marriage is meaningless to both and everything. On the one hand, it’s just a piece of paper. But on the other hand, it can be reassuring to know that a promise has been made.
I got married for the first time when I was 21 years old. We made it through her 15 years in the Air Force, at least half of it on life support.
I had no intention of getting married again until I met my current wife. I’ve always believed that marriage doesn’t solve a bad relationship, and that you don’t need marriage to have a great relationship. But since she and I shared a common idea of how relationships work, it was easy to try again.
She was in the US during the first year of the pandemic, and since we were only engaged, I was in no legal position to help her if she got sick. So apart from showing true commitment, being married also has benefits when living in a blended family and when living in different countries.
Rob Tasmania
“It would have been difficult to move if I wasn’t married.”
I married a New Zealand farmer in my early 20s and now have two grown children. My first marriage reached its expiration date after 32 years. Since my separation in my early 50s, I had no intention of remarrying.
However, I unexpectedly met the love of my life, whom I met at Cambridge University in England. After corresponding for several months, he flew to New Zealand. And to my surprise, our connection turned out to be just as strong and joyful as it was nearly 40 years ago. We married her in 2008. Without a formal marriage, it would have been difficult for them to immigrate together to Australia, where they currently live.
My husband is just as funny and fun as the guy I met at Cambridge. I still find him as incredibly attractive today as I did in 1970.
Anonymous, Australia
“I wanted to break the previous formal agreement.”
For me it was a question of why the ex had a formal relationship with me and we just have a “partnership” status. I wanted to erase the previous formal agreement and replace it with a celebration that said, “Okay, it turned out great!”
Gretchen, NSW
“It was a long-term effort three times over.”
Marriage was not a lifelong commitment for me, but I made three long-term commitments. As the father of my children, I still have a good relationship with my first husband, and I did not choose to end my relationship with my late wife. I recently remarried and my new husband and I are very happy.
When my wife and I were together, marriage was especially important because there were various legal protections that didn’t apply to us but did apply to heterosexual de facto couples. We campaigned a lot for marriage equality, including a law that overturned marriage in 2013. Therefore, when I met my current husband, the importance of marriage remained in my mind.
My husband is happy to be married, but I think it’s more important than that for me. He is a man of his word and now that we have made a formal commitment, I feel very secure that he will support me for the rest of our lives.
Glenda, Australian Capital Territory
“I finally understood the question the second time.”
For an atheist who doesn’t have children, it’s more difficult to participate in rituals and rituals that celebrate you and your life, but marriage was, because there aren’t many other things that carry the same weight. both.
In my second marriage, I felt like I finally understood the questions marriage was asking me, and my responses became more firm and honest, leading to a happier marriage.
victoria lee
“Easy Will”
Two years after the divorce was finalized, I didn’t have a wedding. Prepare a new name, ring, dress, promise (to yourself), and even a reception to “untie” yourself. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.
A few years after I sowed my wild oats, I met someone special.
I never wanted to get married again, but as an accountant who has managed estate matters, I have learned that while the most hassle-free wills and arrangements (particularly regarding superannuation) are between husband and wife, de facto couples I realized that I had been having a horrible time in between.
He assured me that nothing would change. “Think of it as a celebration, not a wedding,” he tells me. I’m getting married in May! But we don’t call each other husband/wife – that’s the ex-husband’s title.
Linda, New South Wales
Quotes have been edited for structure, clarity, and length.
