dear abby: My husband and I have been friends with another couple for many years. We got together occasionally, but mostly we enjoyed their company. The house across from ours became vacant so they bought it.
Shortly after we moved in, my wife began copying our interior and exterior design elements until one night, standing in the kitchen, she said, “Well, it’s all about competition.” To say we were disappointed would be an understatement. Her husband and I have spent years collecting vintage furniture and other items to create a distinctive home. It was a labor of love.
Six months ago, we installed a unique garage door unlike anything else in the neighborhood. Abby, I installed the exact same thing within 3 months. Am I wrong to think that’s vulgar and rude?
We don’t want to spend time with them anymore, but they are neighbors and we have some mutual friends, so we don’t want to cut ties completely. Moving is not an option. This is our home. what should we do? — Tired of Ohio
Dear Tired: I understand why you feel cold and need to distance yourself. Who would want to be around someone who thinks “everything” is a competition? Perhaps you’ll feel less frustrated if you learn to accept what you can’t change while remembering that imitation is sincere flattery.Of course, it’s in your best interest to keep relations amicable, but it may be best not to invite this woman anymore into the your home.
dear abby:I lost my beautiful mother 6 years ago. Of course I miss her very much, but something else is bothering me and I’m having a hard time getting over it. I allowed my paternal cousin to come to the hospital for a visit and visit, but I didn’t mind it. What I have a big problem with is what happened next.
As soon as my cousin was released from the hospital, she jumped on Facebook and posted “Rest in Peace, Aunt Sally” for all to see. Everyone who was friends with my mom saw that post, which means her mom announced her mom’s death before I even had time to process everything. I was so hurt, angry, sad and shocked that she would do that.
I’m still worried because it’s irreversible. I was still lying next to my mom crying and about to say goodbye when my phone started blowing up with messages and notifications. How can I get over it when I feel betrayed? Since then, I haven’t had much contact with that cousin. — Hurt in Florida
dear heart: I pray that your mother’s soul may rest in peace on her passing. In this internet age, it is not uncommon for people to post their feelings online. Your cousin may have vented without intending to officially announce your mother’s death. The problem with posting is that once you post, everyone can see and react.
I think this is something you should discuss with your cousin. Your cousin may not have understood how his online feelings affected you on that sad and stressful day. You deserve an apology for her insensitivity.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
