Dear Abby: My wife and I have known each other for 25 years. We got married 5 years ago. At the time, I was traveling 500 miles round trip twice a month to see my children from my first marriage. I was and still am crazy about her.
However, two years ago, the wife admitted to a long-term romantic relationship with a married man with whom she has two children. She also admitted that she was waiting for him to break up with her wife and that he was waiting for her to leave me before we moved in together and eventually moved in together and possibly got married. I did.
Shortly after this was announced, she became critically ill. She requires 24-hour care and I have been by her side monitoring her health and taking her blood pressure. She collapsed once in the hospital, and if I hadn’t been in her room at that time, she would have died.
My wife refused to tell me the details of the incident. There are signs that she may still be in contact with him and I think his wife should know. She becomes hysterical at his suggestion and her blood pressure rises dangerously high. She feels trapped. She is worried that if I leave her, she will have no one to take care of her and she will die. What do you advise? — Deep inside California drama
Dear Deep: You won’t be trapped any more than you want. Without trust there can be no marriage. If your wife is truly repentant about her infidelity, she will tell you everything.
You may be responsible if you divorce her after 5 years, considering the fact that she may still be in contact with her lover and she refuses to come clean. Speak with a lawyer who can explain what will happen. About marriage. You should not be forced to become her caregiver in this situation.
Dear Abby: My 11-year-old grandson “Lucas” and I are very close. His mother (my daughter) allowed me to have him whenever I wanted. She even takes him on vacation. When he entered his first grade, he started living with me because his mother told me she was going to enter a rehab facility. Lucas is currently in the 6th grade and lives with his mother.
My daughter has two other boys who live with her father. Lucas’ father is not present in his life. I was always there for him. She’s not a bad mother, but Lucas doesn’t like living with her. Her daughter is now moving 40 minutes away and plans to transfer Lucas to a new school. I’m very worried about him. It’s my fault that he has a social life. He has been in the Boy Scouts with the same boys for five years. What should I do? Let him go? — Next to South Carolina
Dear Self: Unless you can persuade your daughter to allow Lucas to stay with you and allow him to continue to be socially active with his peer group, you have no choice but to let him go. I do not think. 6th grade and her 7th grade are usually a difficult time for a child to enter a new school, as cliques have formed by then. You are a caring grandparent, I wish you the best of luck. Start your campaign now.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
