Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. We have a good relationship in terms of compatibility. We are Christians, educated, and have good jobs. We are fun-loving and both love investing and traveling. He enjoys being with me and says I’m the best qualified girl he’s ever dated.
However, I have one problem. That means he remains in close contact with his ex-girlfriend, who he dated on and off for 10 years, as well as other women he dated. When I asked him about it, he said he cares about other people and likes to stay in touch with them.
Example: Last year, when he was single, he wanted to take his long-term ex-girlfriend out on day trips, dinners, and musicals so she could escape his apartment. Her life became very difficult because of her daughter and her grandchildren who lived with her. My boyfriend and this ex-boyfriend frequently text each other to keep up with each other’s families and life situations.
This makes me feel uneasy. Isn’t that what most women do? For me, if I don’t think the relationship is going well, I think we should stop seeing each other to avoid causing any more turmoil or emotional upset. How do I deal with this? I really like this person and really think something will work out. — share him in texas
Dear Him Share: When it comes to ending a long-term relationship, not everyone does it the same way. Some people have dramatic outbursts and never speak to that person again. Some remain friends for many years.
Even if your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend has an adult daughter or grandchild, you are not an inexperienced child yourself. If you really want a future with him, you may have to accept that he won’t be happy if you try to reduce his social contact. If you can’t muster up enough confidence to manage it, you’re probably better off finding someone else.
Dear Abby: I’m a 68 year old married man with no close friends. I worked for my family’s bar and restaurant for 35 years before losing it. After that, I worked as an assistant manager in several fast food restaurants, and then as an assistant manager in a large pharmacy.
After three knee surgeries and a foot fusion, I retired from full-time work at age 65. I currently work part time at a physical therapy center, mostly to keep myself busy and make a few bucks. I have no hobbies or major interests. I have some health issues, but they are under control.
I feel lonely most of the time.I know a lot of people and get along well with people – I just feel I feel lonely. I have two sons that I am very proud of, each with their own families, but they are busy with their own lives.
There is no one I can talk to about my feelings without criticizing them. Can you tell me where to turn? — East is a little lonely
Dear Lonely: You say you’re married. Is it a happy marriage? Part-time employment is also available. These are things to be thankful for. You may want to tell your doctor about your persistent feelings of loneliness. The problem may be emotional, spiritual, existential, physical, or just boredom. But the first place to start is with a doctor or spiritual advisor who can help you get to the bottom of this issue.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
