Cindy Crawford has detailed the “survivor guilt” she experienced after her older brother Jeffrey died at the age of three after a battle with leukemia.
The former supermodel, 58, spoke about her heartbreaking loss during an appearance on the show. “The Wonders of Kelly Corrigan” Saturday podcast.
Mr Crawford, who survived the tragedy with his sisters Chris and Danielle, said his father John Crawford had wanted a son before Jeffrey was born.
“My dad wanted a boy, so our fourth child was a boy. I think I felt very guilty,” she told hosts Kelly Corrigan, 56, and Christy Turlington. .
“There’s a kind of survivor guilt in other kids, too, especially since we knew my dad really wanted a boy. We thought, ‘Well, it’s just one of us.’ I felt like it should have been.”
“It was so strange, my sisters and I had had similar nightmares for years and it had to be one of us,” Crawford added.
The runway icon, who was just nine years old at the time of her brother’s death, said she sought help from therapy.
“Recently, I was coaching during the pandemic. I actually had some time to do some real work, and one of the questions I was asked by my coach was, “What should I have asked at that time? I realized it was like, “What didn’t I have?” And then I realized,” Cover Girl said.
“And I don’t think my mom would have ever thought she would say this. She was 26 years old and had just lost a child. But I had to say, ‘Yes, Jeff died. We’re very sad, but we’re very happy that you’re here.
The mother of two also detailed how differently the subject of death was approached at the time.
“I remember going back to school after my brother died, and no one said anything to me, except for one person who said, ‘I saw your brother died in the paper,’ and I’m not kidding. There wasn’t.” Really? ” she recalled.
“It was like, ‘Oh.’ You could see it on your face, but he didn’t know what to say. We were in third grade.”
