Darryl Strawberry wasn’t sure this day would ever come.
Lately, he’d been feeling unsure if he’d ever see another day like this.
But he was immortalized on Saturday when the Mets retired his No. 18 before playing against the Diamondbacks at Citi Field.
“It means more than ever to be here and to be able to represent this organization and retire my number,” Strawberry said. “I nearly lost my life. Sitting here today is a gift from God. I don’t take it for granted. I nearly died. I nearly died.”
Strawberry suffered a “massive” heart attack in mid-March, just before his 62nd birthday.
“I remember being rolled into the operating room and thinking to myself, ‘God, this is in your hands,'” Strawberry said. “There’s nothing I can do. If you want me here, keep me alive. If you don’t want me here, take me away.”
He is indeed still here, full of rebellious spirit and gratitude.
Strawberry has since recovered and says he feels fine both physically and mentally, although he admits the medication he takes for his heart means he’s never fully back to normal.
For much of his career, and life, that hasn’t been the case.
Strawberry mixed in plenty of jokes but also got emotional when talking about his well-known and self-destructive personal demons, including drug and alcohol abuse and other off-field misadventures.
“The way I acted was just a product of my own vulnerability,” Strawberry said. “I grew up in a dysfunctional home, my father was an alcoholic, I was told I’d never amount to anything, and I felt that way when I was playing. The only thing that brought me peace was being on the field. I was angry inside.”
But Strawberry doesn’t regret any of it and wouldn’t do anything differently if he could go back in time. He believes those experiences shaped who he is today.
There’s just one thing he would like to change.
And it haunts him to this day.
“I wish I’d never left this organization,” Strawberry said. “That’s going to be my biggest regret for the rest of my life. … The eight seasons I spent here were the best of my career, and I’ll always be a Mets man. No matter what anybody looks at me, no matter what anybody says, I’m a Mets man.”
Mr Strawberry thanked his wife, Tracy, for keeping him “upright” during his heart attack and saving his life.
He thanked Gary Carter and Mookie Wilson for being examples of discipline and maturity on an unruly team.
He thanked his childhood friend and turned teammate Eric Davis for helping him during his first few years in the league.
Then there was Doc Gooden, for whom Strawberry owes a special debt of gratitude.
For two players whose careers and personal struggles have been intertwined, it’s fitting that their uniforms will be retired just over a month apart.
“He inspires me. I know he’s someone I can call,” Gooden said. “He doesn’t judge me. He empathizes with what I’m going through.”
Many of Strawberry’s teammates were in attendance, particularly members of the 1986 World Series team.
As Strawberry reminisces about her group, the group laughs, claps in celebration of her win, and shares long hugs — it’s clear the friendship within this group is so important to Strawberry.
“We were one big family,” Strawberry said, “and that’s what I love about baseball. Baseball doesn’t succeed unless you’re a family, if you’re united.”
Mets owner and lifelong fan Steve Cohen was a young man at the time, but he hugged Strawberry before the game.
Since taking over as owner, Cohen has made it his mission to reconnect with the team’s legends, who had become estranged from the franchise.
“I take those moments for granted,” Cohen said. “I think we’re going to win every year because we have a great team. As we know, it’s hard to win. You can tell how much he cherishes those moments because they’re hard to repeat.”
Chants of “Daaaaaah, Daaaaaah” echoed around Citi Field as Strawberry greeted the fans on the field.
Once a Mets, always a Mets. Now and forever a Mets.
No one will ever wear his No. 18 jersey again.
“I never dreamed I’d end up coming to the greatest place to play baseball,” Strawberry told fans, “I never dreamed I’d end up playing in front of the greatest fans forever.”
