The situation is highly unusual, so the woman isn’t wrong to not want to attend her sister’s wedding, relationship experts and Reddit users said in response to the woman’s post.
“AITA you refused to attend my sister’s wedding after she secretly dated and got engaged to my ex-fiancé?” user “AlisonVio” asked in a July 8 post on the “Am I the A–hole” subreddit.
In the post, the woman warned readers: “Fasten your seatbelts, this is a rollercoaster.”
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The 28-year-old woman said she had been engaged to “Mike” for two years but they broke up just three months before their planned wedding last summer.
“I found out he was cheating on me with another woman,” the woman wrote, “and I called off the wedding immediately.”
A Reddit user said her fiancé broke up with her before their wedding because he cheated on her, but now the man is engaged to her sister. (iStock)
“Mike” moved on after they broke up, she said, and Allison Vio “thought that was the end of it.”
She added: “I was heartbroken but slowly started to move forward with my life” – until last month.
“My sister Lily (25) called me and said she had some exciting news and wanted to meet me at my parents’ house for dinner,” Allison Vio wrote.
“My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to pass out.”
She continued, “When I arrived, Lily and her parents greeted me with big smiles before she broke the shocking news to me: she was engaged to Mike.”
“I felt dizzy and nearly fainted,” Allison Viot wrote of the impact.
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She then found out that “Lily and Mike have been secretly dating for the past year and are now engaged,” and that her parents “have known for months” but chose not to tell her.
“They really thought I would be happy in the end,” Allison Viot said.
Meanwhile, her sister “tried to justify it by saying that she and Mike fell in love after the breakup and that their relationship was doomed.” Her sister claimed that she didn’t start dating Mike until after the breakup.
The woman who shared her story said her wedding to “Mike” was called off just a few months ago, originally planned for last summer, but now her sister is engaged to the same man and plans to marry him soon. (iStock)
“I felt betrayed in every way,” Alison Vio said, adding, “I told everyone I wanted nothing to do with their wedding and walked out in anger.”
This didn’t work, she informed them.
“My parents and Lily have bombarded me with calls and emails, calling me selfish and overreacting.”
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“My parents say true love is rare and that I should support Lily’s happiness. Now the wedding is just a few months away and the pressure is on… They have even threatened to cut off financial support if I don’t attend,” the woman wrote.
Lily reportedly asked her to be a bridesmaid, “saying she wanted to salvage our relationship.”
“This request tears my heart out. I don’t want to further disrupt our family dynamic but I feel hurt and betrayed,” AlisonVio wrote on Reddit.
Allison Viot (not pictured) said her sister asked her to attend the wedding as a way to “repair” a broken relationship. (iStock/Getty Images)
Meanwhile, her friends are divided on what Allison Vio should do.
“Some of my friends think I should go to keep the peace and show I’m over it, but others are appalled and say it’s only natural that I should be angry and stay away,” she said.
“It’s the wedding of her ex-fiancé who cheated on her.”
“So,” she asked others on social media, “is AITA the one who refused to attend my sister’s wedding when she secretly dated and got engaged to my ex-fiance?”
Nicole Moore, a California-based relationship expert and certified life coach, told Fox News Digital that Allison Vio “is absolutely not wrong for not wanting to go to her sister’s wedding. And it’s not just her sister’s wedding. It’s the wedding of her ex-fiance, who cheated on her.”
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“Most people would have strong negative feelings about attending the wedding of someone they had an affair with, so it’s not surprising that this woman had the reaction she did,” she said.
Moore told Fox News Digital he was concerned that “this woman’s sister and family are acting as if her feelings about the engagement and marriage are less important than her sister’s ‘true love.'”
Relationship expert Nicole Moore (left) told Fox News Digital that Allison Vio (not pictured) should talk to her sister and parents separately once she has had time to process the situation. (Getty Images/iStock)
“This lack of awareness will make anyone hesitant to attend family events,” Moore added.
While some of Allison Viot’s parents and friends think she should attend her sister’s wedding, Reddit users are almost unanimous in saying she’s right to avoid the occasion.
“Some of my friends think I should go to keep the peace and show I’m over it, while others are appalled and say I have every right to be angry.”
Of the more than 1,200 replies to the post, nearly everyone said Allison Vio wasn’t wrong to not want to attend.
“So let’s backtrack: Mike cheated on you and broke your heart (presumably with someone else, as Lily says they started dating after he broke up with you). Now he’s dating your sister and everyone is hiding this from you, including your parents,” Reddit user “No_Construction_1096” said in one of the top replies to the post.
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“Now they drop the bomb on you and call you heartless for not believing in their ‘true love’ and Lily dare ask you to be her bridesmaid?” the same person wrote.
“If Mike cheated once, he’ll cheat again. I foresee that.”
No_Construction_1096 advised AlisonVio to have less or no contact with her family in the future, saying, “It all depends on how they behave towards you in the future.”
Reddit users were almost unanimous in agreeing that the woman was “NTA” for deciding not to attend her sister’s wedding. (iStock)
Other Reddit users were critical of Lily’s decision to date Mike in the first place.
“I can’t imagine wanting to date someone who cheated on my sister. If you broke my sister’s feelings you’re dead to me. There’s no relationship there,” said user “readthethings13579.”
“Lily is a bad sister for even entertaining the idea of dating, let alone marrying, a man who cheated on her,” the same user added.
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And one Reddit user offered a pretty nasty suggestion for AlisonVio:
“My boring mind was saying: [maid of honor]”Then at the reception, they’ll just toast to their romantic history,” Reddit user “KanaydianDragon” said.
“It’s a bit of a scorched earth tactic but who needs a family like that anyway?” the same user added.
Looking ahead, Moore encouraged Alison Vio to tell her family that she doesn’t plan to attend the wedding, but that she is going to take some time “to emotionally process what has happened and see if she can come to terms with it.”
Moore then said Allison Viot should tell her sister and parents about the wedding separately once she had time to process her feelings.
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“For example, a woman may decide to attend the wedding but not be a bridesmaid, so if it all gets out of hand for her, it would be easier for her to end the reception early,” she said.
Fox News Digital has reached out to the original poster for comment.
