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With dementia, words matter: Here are 16 safe things to say to your loved one

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For the one you love Dementia patientsCommunication is often one of the biggest challenges.

Experts say that not only do people with dementia have difficulty expressing their own feelings, but they can also experience exaggerated emotional responses to what may seem like a simple remark, question or opinion from others.

“When communicating with someone with dementia, it's essential to keep in mind the importance of empathy, simplicity and respect,” psychologist and Chicago School dean Michelle Nealon, PhD, told Fox News Digital.

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“The goal is to enhance the dignity of the individual, Euphoriaproviding emotional support and reducing anxiety.”

To help ensure smooth, stress-free communication, dementia experts shared some examples of appropriate words to use when speaking to someone living with Alzheimer's disease or another cognitive disorder.

“The goal is to communicate in a way that enhances the individual's sense of dignity and well-being, provides emotional support and reduces anxiety,” the expert said. (iStock)

1. “Can you help me?”

Getting someone with dementia somewhere or completing a task can be a challenge, said Christina Chartrand, vice president of Senior Helpers, a Florida-based home-care company that often assists people with dementia. Dementia patients.

“When we ask them for help, a lot of times they're happy to come out and help out with the work, and it feels meaningful,” she told Fox News Digital.

“It's important that they feel like they're contributing and that they have a purpose.”

2. “I understand you're upset.”

Acknowledging someone's feelings, even if they're a reaction to something that doesn't make sense or isn't real, normalizes them, says Dr Sanam Hafeez. New York City Neuropsychologist and Director of Comprehend the Mind.

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“You can say, 'It's normal to feel that way,' or 'I understand,'” she told Fox News Digital.

“This avoids direct confrontation and debate about whether their feelings are realistic and 'valid', which can lead to frustration and confusion.”

3. “I enjoy spending time with you.”

Showing affection can reassure people with dementia and help them feel better about themselves through social interaction, Hafeez said.

“Feelings of gratitude and appreciation are more likely to create a more upbeat atmosphere.”

“Expressing gratitude and appreciation is likely to create an upbeat atmosphere in which patients may lower their guard about their cognitive impairment,” she said.

“Instead of dwelling on their limitations, this book emphasizes the important role your children still play in your life, a message that can boost self-esteem.”

4. “Shall I sit here?”

Providing them with some light work or diversion may also help, Hafeez advised.

“A little distraction can help reset the mood, especially if the other person seems agitated,” she told Fox News Digital.

Woman with dementia

One expert said acknowledging people's emotions normalizes their feelings, even if they're a reaction to something that doesn't make sense or isn't real. (iStock)

“Instead of telling them that what they're experiencing is wrong, gently offer alternatives to shift the focus in a non-confrontational way.”

5. “You are safe”

Ensuring safety is important, especially if dementia patients seem confused or anxious, says Adria Thompson, a speech-language-pathologist in Kentucky with 10 years of experience working with dementia. Dementia Care.

“Simple words of affirmation like, 'You are safe' can be a huge reassurance,” Thompson told Fox News Digital.

“It's especially effective when you stand at eye level with the person and deliver this message directly.”

6. “Would you like to listen to some music?”

Hafeez said music also stimulates positive emotions and memories for those in the final stages of dementia.

“It's a calming and fun way to engage with kids,” she said.

“It's important to remember the importance of empathy, simplicity and respect.”

“Because music doesn't require grey matter or a detailed conversation agenda, we are less likely to experience stress or confusion while still providing mutual enrichment.”

7. “What is your fondest memory?”

“Encouraging people with dementia to share positive memories can help them connect with the past and feel more at ease,” says psychologist Chicago Schoolto Fox News Digital.

“This allows them to engage in a comfortable, familiar conversation that makes them feel safe and confident.”

8. “I'm sorry”

According to Chartrand, apologizing and showing empathy are effective ways to create a calming relationship with a person with dementia.

“Even if you haven't done anything wrong, saying 'I'm sorry' validates the other person's feelings and puts them at ease,” she says.

Mother with Alzheimer's

“Simple words of affirmation such as, 'You are safe' can provide great reassurance,” the expert told Fox News Digital. (iStock)

“People with dementia can have difficulty processing information and making reasoning, so treating them with understanding and compassion, rather than correcting or explaining, can create more positive and peaceful interactions.”

This approach helps maintain their dignity and ensures they feel supported and understood, Chartrand added.

9. “Let's do this together”

“Suggesting that they do something together, even if it's just folding laundry, setting the table or another simple task, encourages participation and teamwork,” Nealon said.

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“It helps people feel useful and involved, boosts self-esteem and creates a positive shared experience.”

10. “Let's just give it a try.”

Getting someone with dementia to try something new or go somewhere can be difficult, Chartrand noted.

“If you ask for it on a now basis rather than permanently, it can potentially be a more positive experience,” she said.

11. “Could you tell me more about that?”

Michael Kramer, long-term care educator and director of community relations. Retirement Housing Ontario doctors often ask residents this open-ended question to encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings.

“This fosters real engagement and gives us insight into their perspective,” he told Fox News Digital.

Man with dementia

Rather than simply saying “goodbye” when you leave, it's best to tell patients why you're leaving, experts said. (iStock)

“Asking this question also allows the other person to express themselves in their own words and helps avoid frustration.”

12. “I need to go now so I can finish up some groceries for dinner.”

Rather than simply saying “goodbye” when patients leave, it's best to tell them why they're leaving, says Leonie Rosenstiel, president of Dayspring Resources in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

“Saying goodbye sounds like a long time away and may upset the other person,” she says.

13. “I'll remind you about that later.”

Kramer said because dementia often causes forgetfulness, people with dementia can become overly fixated on certain topics or details.

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“This phrase can be helpful when dealing with memory issues because it serves as a gentle reminder without pressure or frustration,” he said.

“It also provides peace of mind that no important details will be forgotten.”

14. “It's okay if you don't remember. Just enjoy the moment.”

This reassures the person that it's okay to forget things and shifts the focus to the present moment, Nealon said.

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“The key to safe communication is to keep interactions relaxed, friendly and non-threatening,” the experts said. (iStock)

“It reduces the pressure to remember, promotes mindfulness, Stress and anxiety” she added.

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Hafeez agreed, noting that memory loss can be frustrating and embarrassing for dementia patients.

“Instead of calling attention to the other person's forgetfulness or expecting them to remember, this expression takes the pressure off and encourages a more relaxed interaction,” she said.

15. “Let's look at the pictures together.”

Nealon says activities like looking at pictures can stimulate positive memories and distract them from the confusion and upset they're feeling.

Seniors looking at old photos

Engaging in activities such as looking at pictures can stimulate positive memories and distract you from the confusion or upset you are feeling. (iStock)

“It's a way to connect emotionally and cognitively without the pressure of having to remember every single detail,” she said.

16. “Would you like to go for a walk with me?”

Nealon said offering to join in on simple communal activities like walks can provide a sense of normalcy and camaraderie.

“Physical activity is Reduce anxiety It helps improve your mood,” she said.

“The invitation is non-demanding and promotes a calm, enjoyable experience.”

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Hafeez says what all these suggestions have in common is making the other person feel safe and connected.

“The secret to safe communication is to keep interactions relaxed, friendly and non-threatening,” she said.

“It's about being trustworthy, honest, and authentic, and making the other person feel connected to you.”

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