What are Crocs?
In a way, it is a shoe. But these ugly objects, reminiscent of some kind of toxic nuclear waste, are more than just shoes.
They are something more, or they represent something more.
Crocs are an abolition of the standard — the lowest rung of the ladder — and a regression in the form of porous, plush synthetic types designed to let stinky feet breathe.
The crocodile is the physical representation of a much larger phenomenon, a darker phenomenon. The crocodile is the physical embodiment of a culture or society that has moved away from form and distinction and into formless matter.
Crocs represent a society that has stopped developing and evolving and has settled into a trajectory of regression for the time being. Crocs are a prime example of our current cultural regression in the form of footwear. “Idiocracy” (2006) was a documentary.
Crocs' defenders claim that they're comfortable, and they certainly are. That's the point. Crocs are part of the cult of comfort that's likely to become a central value in America in 2024.
The pursuit of comfort at all costs is not a sign of progress. It is not a sign of progress. It is not a sign of aesthetic taste, determination or refinement. It is a sign of resignation. It is a sign of a culture that has reached an end point and decided to just sit back and relax while everything falls apart. If you're comfortable and having fun, nothing else matters.
At the height of the 20th century, you would see men in suits and ties, with slicked back hair and clean-shaven faces, but at the (hopefully) low point of the 21st century, you see men in sweatpants and sweatshirts with clown-like shoes.
The trajectory here is clear: it is the path of depravity. In Crocs's world, humans are shrinking. Humans are no longer stern and competent, outgoing and determined. Humans are relaxed and comfortable, well-fed and entertained, silly and goofy. They are degenerating.
If you told your grandparents about Crocs half a century ago, they would have laughed. If you told them that people would be wearing Crocs in public 50 years from now, they would stop laughing and start worrying.
What's the difference between oxblood loafers and neon red Crocs? Everything. One is a shoe made from natural materials. The other is a filthy synthetic material. One is a stately shoe. The other is a clown's shoe.
Crocs, simply put, are clown shoes. Shoes that don't need to be taken seriously. Shoes that are made to be laughed at. Crocs are so accepted today that it's easy to forget how ridiculous they are. It's easy to forget how degrading they are.
In the world of Crocs, there is no such thing as a sexy heel. No woman feels beautiful in lime green Crocs. Crocs do not make a woman's legs look attractive, nor does it make her posture look attractive. No man feels strong in yellow Crocs. Crocs do not make you look serious or show you have purpose in your approach to the world.
Crocs add nothing of value, they only detract from it. Crocs exacerbate and accelerate the world of androgyny. Crocs diminish the beauty of women and the strength of men. Crocs play a small part in making the world a less romantic place.
“They look stupid.” That's what your great-grandfather might say if you traveled back in time and put Crocs on him.
Is there any room for this phrase in 2024? Is it possible to look like a fool? Everyone looks like a fool, so do I really look like a fool? Worrying about looking like a fool is a fear that only exists in a society that demands that we not look like fools. It only exists in a society that has some standards and expectations.
Crocs are an abolition of the standard — the lowest rung of the ladder — and a regression in the form of porous, plush synthetic types designed to let stinky feet breathe.
Crocodile makes no effort to become anything. It is formless matter. It has no aesthetic value. It is comfort and solace. That is all. It has no history, no cultural continuity, no narrative. It requires and assumes no thought or consideration.
No consideration is given to how they will be combined with a belt or a shirt. They are not part of a proper outfit. They are shoes for the unthinking masses who value nothing higher than comfort.
During the production of Idiocracy, the costume department chose Crocs as the standard footwear because they were affordable and had an absurdist aesthetic that suited the decadent social conditions depicted in the film.
The team reportedly thought the silly shoes would never catch on. They thought they were just too silly. Whether or not all of these details are true is largely irrelevant. In the end, they were wrong. Crocs caught on.
America in 2024 bears an eerily strong resemblance to a scene from the film Idiocracy: Luke Wilson, clad in a sweatsuit and Crocs, wanders into a Costco the size of a small city. He is greeted by employees who tell him, over and over again, “Welcome to Costco. We love you.”
Sweatpants, sweatshirts, Crocs, Costco. Idiocracy was a documentary.
