Dear Abby: My “best friend” as he labeled our relationship moved in with me 8 months ago. He claims he has no romantic feelings for me. Despite this, he sleeps next to my bed and kisses me. (He was asleep when he did it and claims he doesn't remember anything like it happening.) Every day when he leaves town to go see him, he texts me “I miss you.”
He says he doesn't want to be with me because “he doesn't see me that way.” He also talks to another girl. He claims they are just friends too and only have a platonic relationship, but I've seen kissing emojis, miss-me-up texts, and nude photos they've exchanged.
I felt used, so I asked him to leave, but he refused to accept my request. When I asked him why he lived with me, he said it was better than me sleeping on my mom's couch next to the dog. I can't express in words how painful it was to hear that.
At this point, he owes me $1,000 in unpaid rent and I can't help but feel like I fell in love with someone who is incapable of even loving himself. How do I get this man out of my house, out of my mind, so that he no longer feels like my live-in maid, concubine, bank account, chef, personal assistant in exchange for the privilege of being abused? Is it ok? — used in Georgia
To our users: How can I rid my mind of this lame excuse for men? From the tone of your letter, you're already more than halfway there. Turn off the money, stop cooking and doing laundry for him, kick him out of your bed if he climbs into your bed, and tell him if he wants sex he'll get it from another “friend”. It can be well worth your while to consult a lawyer about your refusal to vacate your residence, as it may require a formal eviction.
Dear Abby: My sister recently got engaged. I'm excited for her. Her fiancé is amazing. We have always been close and I plan to be her maid of honor. The problem is, ever since they started dating, and especially now that they're married, I've been jealous. When they are together, you feel like a little green monster.
It's not about her fiancé. I can't help but wish I had someone too. When they look like a couple and I'm driving a tricycle, it feels like I've been punched in the stomach. I hate fighting these feelings when I'm really happy with both of them. But I'm tired of feeling jealous, feeling guilty for feeling that way, and letting it taint my true happiness. What should I do? — I don't like this feeling
Please stop: I respect your desire to accept your feelings honestly. Although none of us are proud of feeling jealous, most of us have experienced it at one time or another. (This may be why it's included in the list of seven deadly sins.) I'm glad your sister found her soulmate, and please Believe that you can find yours too. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but one day, when you least expect it, you turn around and he's there.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
