Dear Abby: A friend of mine is married to a penny pincher. He hates spending money. They are retired and have large amounts of assets. He never buys her anything for her birthday or takes her out to dinner. He doesn't even buy her a card on Valentine's Day.
They each have their own homes and move back and forth between them. When he comes to her house, she is filling the refrigerator with items. When she goes to him, he has no food. She has to go to the market and buy food for the two of them. He then gets angry about spending money on food at the market. He hates restaurants because they cost money.
Since prices are low, he goes to the local hospital and buys dinner at the cafeteria there. They keep their finances separate, but she feels he should something For her on holidays and special occasions.
She always does nice things for him, like treating him to sporting events and dinners. When we go out in a group, he gets annoyed at splitting the bill. She always sneaks money under the table so he can pay his share and her share.
At the moment, his cheap personality is affecting their marriage. Abby, do you have any suggestions for changing my cheap husband? He has resources. He just doesn't want to spend money. — ask for friends
Dear request: If your friend and her husband spent some time together before getting married, she should know about his “quirks.” He may have a deep-seated fear of poverty. She has to speak out because his poverty has made it increasingly difficult for her to survive. It may have been very wise to keep their home and financial assets separate. (They did not mention whether they were happy in other aspects of their marriage.)
If he is willing to admit he has a problem, counseling may help. If she asks you for advice, be less generous and suggest that she eat well before arriving at his house. If his cupboards are empty, he, not her, should go to the store and restock them, or even treat himself to dinner in the hospital cafeteria. Not all spouses need gifts, but because she does and he chooses to ignore it, she may have to accept that they are two completely different people. yeah. Sometimes opposites attract, but apparently that's not true in this case. It's a shame.
Dear Abby: I have been a widow for three years. I have a guy I've been dating for the past 8 years, and I've had a crush on him for a few years. I don't know how to tell him how I feel and I don't want to ruin our friendship. How can I talk to him without ruining our friendship? sense of loss
Dear Loss: Would you date this person? If so, tell him how much you love him and how special he is to you the next time you go out together. If he responds positively, let him know that you might have feelings for him. Then please listen. I'm not saying it's an unreasonable advance, but if he runs for the hills, you'll know your crush isn't reciprocated. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
