I write in my diary every night.
Well, I try to write in a diary every night. The keyword is “try”. “I write in a diary every night'' is, in a sense, a wishful statement. I hope that by saying it, you actually do it.
Children say interesting things. Sometimes that's all I write down. These past few years are just a long time, and I don't want to forget them.
But that's not the case. I never fulfill my promises. I always fail. I miss the days. I'm working too much. I don't finish work until just before dinner. Then we eat and put the kids to bed.
At that point I'm already tired, so I make another cup of coffee and get back to work. And of course I forget to write until I'm lying in bed, by which point it's too late.
My life is too busy to write every night. And sadly, that's why I have to write every night.
To the lighthouse
We all keep diaries for different reasons. I save it to remind myself of things I don't want to forget. For some reason, writing down what happened helps me remember.
And even if you can't remember it right away, when you reread something you wrote down years ago, a switch flips in your mind and the memory suddenly comes back to life. All I needed was a small lighthouse to get to shore. That's my diary. I'm building a little lighthouse on the page so I can find my way back someday.
Sometimes I sit at my desk and turn the pages. I read an entry from years ago. March 20, 2019. That little lighthouse leads me to memories hidden in the corners of my heart. I'm here again.
take 10
The next entry on the next page is in 5 months. my god. Why didn't you write it? what happened? I don't remember anymore. There are fleeting images and events, but you can't put a date on them. Was it 2019 or 2018? Or 2020? Where have my memories gone?
They're there, I know they're there. But I can't find my way back. I got lost. Why didn't you write it? Just 10 minutes here and there. That was all there was to do. I was too busy.
Children say interesting things. Write down a lot of them. Mispronounced words. Hilarious question. Disturbingly insightful comments that only children seem to make. Because they have no filter and their mind is free to question their choices.
Sometimes that's all I write down. These past few years are just a long time, and I don't want to forget them.
Made to spill
A diary is not just for recording memories for future reference. There’s something therapeutic about writing it down. Remove the pen and paper from the top drawer. Sit there and write. Spit it all out. Don't be shy. No one is watching. No one is listening. You can be who you are. do not be afraid.
Sometimes we need to take something out. Some people like to talk things out openly. But no one tells everything. We all hide our most sensitive parts. But writing in that paper diary is a chance to let it seep out of us.
And after doing that, we somehow feel better. It's therapeutic. We put a piece of the heart on the paper, close the cover and return it to the bottom drawer. Let's go then. Take a deep breath and exhale.
The pen is stronger
Writing everything down is different than typing it into a word processing program. That's not true. Yes, it takes time, but it's actually more than that. It's about being personal. It's really personal.
Hold the pen against the paper. These are physical objects that you can actually grasp with your hands. Write the words in your own handwriting. You yourself spill all over the open diary.
One day, when you die and someone finds what you wrote, they will know it was yours by the handwriting that died with you. Those pages remain. They linger. Those pages of confession will remain long after we are gone. Unless, of course, you burn it. That's also OK. The act of writing itself is enough.
Actually, it's a little old. It's a bit of a lost practice. Now either we're all very busy, we don't want to be outdated, or we think the constant stream of photos on our smartphones is helpful. it's not.
Why you wouldn't do that makes no sense at all. A picture is worth a thousand words, right? But that's not the case. A personal diary — offline, off the cloud, handwritten, secret. Something human and very personal. Things that cannot survive on the internet.
There is no sarcasm, no judgment, no condescension in your diary. It's you. It really is you and nothing else. In our world of performative irreverence, social media masks are always tight. A diary is your last bastion of honesty. A catalog and monument that shows us who we really are, deep within our hearts, with nowhere to hide.
I have to write more in my diary.
