Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I recently bought our first home together. It has features that he really likes, including an outdoor kitchen.
I like it too, but I've already run into some issues in the first month or two. Lately, I've been thinking about having a barbecue or gathering with my family.
He invites all the people I don't know. It's not comfortable to have people around all the time. He does it to show off the house.
I'm tired from all the parties. I've told him I'm uncomfortable but he still does it without asking me.
I have expressed my feelings and concerns but he doesn't seem to care. I'm a private person so I like to enjoy my home.
We had a housewarming party and he always wants more parties.
I don't know what to do anymore. He's in a bad mood, so I always get stuck cooking and cleaning.
To him, I'm a party animal and a grump. I just want my voice to be heard and for him to not be so selfish and pretentious.
I want you to think about my family too. How can I deal with it? — Western Party Poop
Dear Party Pooper: A step in the right direction would be to quit being a cook or an unpaid maid. An inconsiderate boyfriend knows you don't like it, so draw the line.
Tell him that you don't want to be ignored and can no longer tolerate the situation he has created.
If he refuses to compromise, talk to a lawyer about a plan to buy him half of your home. There is no law that says this has to be your future.
Dear Abby: I was recently contacted by Child Protective Services in another state about a great-nephew I had never met.
Of course, they were hoping for placement and financial support for the 10-year-old boy. I'm 62 years old. I am not physically or financially in a position to take care of my son.
That boy is my brother's grandson. When my brother and his wife divorced, he disappeared, taking the children with him. I have had no contact or information regarding my nieces and nephews for 35 years.
This child is in trouble now. Should I ask this child if I can write a letter? You can send birthday and Christmas gifts and letters, but it is impossible to take care of him full time. — Confused Great Aunt
Dear Great Aunt: Your letter leaves out too many details. Where are this boy's father and mother? Are they in prison or dead? Where is your brother, the child's grandfather?
Whether you contact this newfound relative and send him a card or gift may depend on what kind of living situation he ends up in.
Also, since it could be a scam, are you sure the person contacting you is really a Child Protective Services worker?
Do not take any action until you have spoken to other family members and verified the veracity of the information you have received.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
