dear abby: My spouse and I (both women) have been together for 25 years. Half of them lived in the Middle East. We met while working as expatriates for a medical insurance company. My spouse is from South Africa and had a completely different upbringing than I did.
When we finally returned to the United States, we bought a house in a southern state where my two brothers live. As time went on, my spouse told me that he didn't want me to stay over when he came over to visit. She preferred staying in hotels. She said she was fed up that they might not shower before bed and that our cats would be disturbed by their presence. I told her I thought her comment was rude and reminded her to always wash the sheets after guests leave.
This has caused a lot of conflict in our relationship and I don't know if I can continue to alienate and hurt my family by not having them in my home. I love my spouse, but I also love my family and friends and want them to feel welcome. I'm at a loss as to what to do. — pulled in two
Dear Prud: I don't know what your spouse thinks about having your siblings as guests, but her “reason” for wanting them to stay in a hotel is more of an excuse than a reason. . As you said, the sheets will be washed and replaced after the customer leaves. And cats are adaptable creatures. Another option is for your spouse to leave when relatives come to visit, or for you to visit them instead.
dear abby:My sister passed away 11 months ago, just one month after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I loved her and miss her very much. She told my husband and I that she wanted me to have certain belongings and a pension in her name, but she didn't have a will.
My brother-in-law didn't give me anything I asked for. I haven't asked why, but I feel like they won't explain it unless I ask. I understand that he has no legal obligation to give me anything since she didn't have a will. It's really about trust, honesty, and fulfilling her stated wishes, but I think he probably doesn't think of it that way. I feel completely disrespected. Should I never ask him why and stay away from him? — I was disappointed in Pennsylvania.
That was a shame: I would like to express my condolences on the passing of your sister. By ignoring her wishes, her husband is not disrespecting you, he is disrespecting you. she. It's unfortunate that your sister didn't put her wishes in writing, but she didn't, so you have to accept it. You feel like you need answers, so ask your sister why she doesn't follow her wishes. Depending on his answer, decide whether to distance yourself from him or not.
To all readers: I hope everyone has a merry, meaningful, healthy and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone! — Love, Abby
To all readers: The eight days of the Jewish holiday Hanukkah begin at sunset. Happy Hanukkah, everyone, and a Merry Festival of Lights! — Love “Lataka”, Abby
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
