Dear Abby: I started seeing people I had known for years. On our first date, he told me that he had tried many times to divorce his ex-husband of many years. He said they live in different states and every time they try, something goes wrong.
I'm about to enter nursing school, and what I'm looking for is a convenient relationship where I can work around my schedule. We have been talking about dating each other exclusively, but we agreed not to end up in marriage because he is currently on his third and we currently don't have the funds to hire a lawyer to get out of it. . I see him as a good friend to hang out with. Is this relationship okay? — Challenge in Utah
Dear Challenger: You seem to quite understand the casualness of this relationship. If you're ok, he's ok, and wife number 3 is ok, then I'm ok too. got it?
Dear Abby: I live with a wonderful partner. We share a duty to build beautiful lives around us. However, our mutual friends seem to be praising my partner, but I am not. I think this might be my fault. I always say good things about him, but I notice a lot of negative issues being raised about me. Once I confronted him about it, and his reply was, “Aren't you talking about me to other people?” I've never said anything bad about him. Am I creating a circle of hatred around myself? — Surrounded by Minnesota
To those circled: No, it's not. If your partner has a complaint about you, he should discuss it with you and not with the people you are dating. The expression “circle of hate” seems extreme, but having your “wonderful” partner portray you negatively is unlikely to enhance your image and should be stopped. That won't happen until you finally draw the line and make it clear that what he's doing is unacceptable.
Dear Abby: My husband has a terrible habit. He likes to order dessert first and asks the waiter to take everyone's order before serving it. Last night we were at a birthday party of 15 adults at a restaurant and he did it again.
They served a wonderful cake for dessert, which he enjoyed at the end of the meal. And enjoyed his pie in the first hour when no one was eating anything but drinks. He says it wasn't rude, but I don't think so. Please, what do you say? — Iowa State Throwback
Dear backwards: This may be less a question of whether it's rude for your husband to splurge on a penny for sugar and more a question of whether it's healthy for him. how is his weight? What is his blood sugar level? Does anyone in your family have diabetes? What does his doctor think about it?
It's unusual for people to order dessert before dinner and then again afterward, but I'm not sure if that's rude or not. However, it could be a bid for attention.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
