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“Siena, are you listening to what I'm saying?”
My daughter stared at me as if she was looking at me.
It's not again.
Arizona wrestler will become the first girl to win a high school state title
I hugged her and looked at her mom. We knew what was coming. A few seconds later she had a seizure. I led her to the floor and kept her airways clean. Her parents, coaches and teammates surrounded her and blocked the spectators.
Siena Palmisciano has proven that she could overcome health issues and become a wrestling winner. (Photo: Kelly Ianello)
The seizure lasted 36 seconds, and about 90 more seconds before she woke up. Fifteen minutes later, she had no memory of her recent victory in the North Carolina Wrestling State Tournament.
Two years ago, at this moment in the state tournament, my daughter had one of her first seizures. She had just upset her ranked opponent and needed another victory to create the podium. When she came she asked me and her mom to let her fight. We said no.
A year later, she took medication to prevent seizures, but suffered from brain fog affecting schooling and mat performance, she came in fifth and lost a match with two-time state champions and this year's state champions at 114 pounds.
Now with a better medicine and a great season, her only loss was in the final state champion, and she was fighting for the comforting final when the seizures returned.
I shed tears, hugging the fierce girl, robbing her once more of an opportunity by something beyond her control.
And this kid fought.
Siena was her first time participating in a sixth grade wrestling tournament at the middle school state championships. She competed in the girls and boys division, so she got the most matches possible. At that point, she was only struggling with the classes I taught at Jiu-Jitsu School, so everyone in the tournament had more experience.
She finished second in girls and fourth in boys. After a 6-5 defeat in the women's final, the biased referee who opposed competition in the boys division reduced the break time before her boys' match. With just two minutes of rest, she also won the match.
Siena Palmisciano stands with a poster celebrating her 100-win wrestling. Her coaches are Rebecca Mathewson and David Cureton standing with her. (Photo: Kelly Ianello)
In the seventh grade, she was finally allowed to wrestletter with the school team. She only lost once that year's final tournament final. Covid-19 welcomed her 8th grade.
When she arrived at high school, her choice was to either stop wrestling or wrestletter with a boy. She chose to wrestletter the boy.
A few teams had girls on their teams, but they barely wrestled, so it was a huge surprise for many when they won over half of the freshman matches. Her victory was a physical sacrifice. Unlike middle school, she was weak in every match, and had to adapt to her skills, flexibility and her strongest attribute, grit.
With the exception of the unusual school that accepted girls wrestling, most of the time the women who were wrestling at the time were in similar situations to my daughter. They were there for the love of the game. They were spoken, laughed, and looked down. Nothing has changed since the 90s since the time I wrestled. The worst thing you could do was “lose to a girl.”
Watching her treatment hurt me. I can only imagine how she felt. For the most part, she was stoic and wanted to be accepted by the wrestling community. I remember rarely seeing her “competition face” break at the start of her sophomore season. We've heard other teams talk about:
“Both, I can wrestling with girls. It's a simple day,” her partner said.
“Hey, it's not a girl. It's a Siena “Palmesano” chick. She's not kidding,” his friend replied.
“Ah, damn damn. I get it.”
Siena and her father, Nick Palmisiano, are in a quiet moment. (Photo: Kelly Ianello)
She pinned him.
That same week we discovered that girl wrestling was approved as her third grade sport. This was incredible news.
At this point, when she finally had a real opportunity to compete, the seizure began. They took a chance to score the podium at her sophomore state championships, finishing seventh in the tournament. And now, two years later, I had a seizure trying to take her senior year as she twitched on the floor of the Greensboro Coliseum.
“I'm struggling the next match, dad.” My daughter hadn't asked, but before I could express it she knew my concerns.
When she arrived at high school, her choice was to either stop wrestling or wrestletter with a boy. She chose to wrestletter the boy.
Unlike two years ago, she was now 18 years old, but she also knew what this meant to her. She wanted to go out on her own terms.
After a seizure, she gets slower the more she exercises for two or three days. She's skilled enough to beat most of the field, but she and I knew this was a huge handicap.
She went outside and fought close matches. She was down on points in the last 22 seconds, but hasn't stopped yet, so she managed the comeback and brought her opponent closer to her back.
She lost, but she ended up on the top and fought to the bitter end.
The work began as a private note of my daughter's perception. It then became cathartic by expressing what it was like to be a dad who couldn't control an unfair situation. And finally, it became the endorsement of a young woman who may not share my daughter's health challenges, but probably most others. I'm proud of you all.
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When I wrestled, there were 112 girls who wrestled nationwide in high school, compared to 250,000 boys. Today there are 64,000 people, and the majority of that growth has happened in the last few years, riding on the backs of very strict young women.
When I was a child, “struggling like a girl” was insulting. But after years of watching girls of this generation wrestling with boys, being disrespected and eventually gaining a place of respect for them, that means something very different to me.
Siena Palmisiano in one of her wrestling matches. (Photo: Kelly Ianello)
And after seeing Siena descend from the ground after a seizure in her eyes and instructed her to be back there, I want to tell you something else.
I couldn't “fight like a girl.”
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I'm not tough enough.
I'll stop.
