Children in England need to prepare parents to make difficult decisions about their children’s smartphone use rather than trying to become friends.
Dame Rachel de Souza said this should include parents considering examples of setting up children through their phone use.
Write in Sunday Timesde Souza said, “If we are serious about protecting our children, we have to see what we do.”
She added: “The temptation as a parent to succumb to a child’s plea is real. All parents are in that position. To keep them away from under your feet for a few more minutes in front of the TV… The new smartphone ignores the listening voices in your head.
“You are not supposed to be your child’s friend. Sometimes being a parent means making difficult decisions in the long-term benefits of your child, no matter how loudly you oppose it.
“They need you to give them love, understanding, support and boundaries. That means listening to your child and always encouraging high aspirations, but not just making exactly what they want.”
A quarter of children spend more than four hours a day on internet-enabled devices, a child commissioner survey suggested earlier this month.
A YouGov poll of 502 UK children ages 8-15 found that 23% spend more than four hours a day using internet-enabled devices with screens like computers, phones, tablets and gaming consoles.
According to a survey conducted in March and April, one in four people (25%) spends 2-3 hours a day on such devices, while the fifth (20%) spends 3-4 hours a day.
De Souza added that parents need to be “confident in having challenging conversations with their children about what they’re watching online.”
“We find them elsewhere, so we need parents to give their children the opportunity to talk about the violent or sexual content they’re watching online without forfeiting their devices,” she said. “As adults, we are seasoned with dopamine and we are stuck in a scrolling cycle, but we still don’t know what our kids are looking at.”
Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson is considering the impact of smartphone bans in some UK schools. This is a policy idea supported by the National Education Coalition amid growing concern over the impact of social media on children.
The current ununiform guidance states that schools should ban cell phones during school day during lessons, but does not say how schools can enforce the ban during breaks and lunches.
A De Souza survey of 15,000 state schools in the UK found that 99.8% of primary elections and 90 second-order schools limit mobile phone use during the day.
Former principal De Souza has previously said that banning mobile phones should be a choice for school leaders, not a national imposed by the government.
She wrote in the Sunday Times that she believes “schools are just part of the solution.”
“Head teachers say that despite their policies, the children spend their phones on their phones when they are in care of their parents and are deeply concerned about child safety online,” she said.
Last month, conservative leader Kemi Badenok questioned why the government opposed the need for child well-being and school bills to require that phone use be prohibited.
Chief Minister Kiel’s Stage described the proposal as “completely unnecessary” as he allegedly banned “almost all schools” already banned calls.
