My unfaithful ex-wife is attempting to reenter my life after 46 years.

Dear Abby

When my first wife and I were in our early 20s, she left me for another man. It was tough, but eventually, I moved on, learned to trust again, and remarried a few years later.

This might sound hard to believe, but after 46 years, my ex-wife suggested that we connect through social media. I could have found her if I wanted, but honestly, I didn’t want to relive any of that. I mistakenly replied that I didn’t think reconnecting was a good idea.

Her reaction was to delve into why things fell apart between us. She doesn’t seem to grasp that, after leaving someone, being friends isn’t really an option, no matter how much time has passed. Her explanation just reopened wounds that I thought had healed.

If you’re getting divorced, please make it clear that it’s done and over with. I hope that others don’t have to endure what I experienced. – Disappointed in the East

Dear Disappointment

I’m passing your message along. However, some folks can’t seem to move on after a divorce. Your first wife’s intention might have been to help with forgiveness—either for you or herself—but you’re under no obligation to ease her conscience. It’s great that you’ve closed that chapter in your life. Now, keep living and don’t dwell on the past.

Dear Abby

My husband often tells me that everything I do is wrong. He served in the Army for 23 years, and we’ve been together for five, married for just two and a half.

Whenever I try to cook, he insists that I’m doing it wrong. I used to love cooking, but now it feels like a chore, so I only cook when he’s not around. He’s the sole breadwinner, but claims I don’t want to work due to health issues. He had a quadruple bypass six months ago, and that seems to have made things worse. His recovery went well, but he’s started drinking more, and now, he barely talks to me—he screams from morning till night.

I feel like I’m at my breaking point and I don’t know what to do. I love him, but I can’t keep living like this. Any advice would be appreciated. – Pain in South Carolina

Dear Pain

Consider looking for a job. It might provide you with some independence and an escape from the home environment. Your husband has been controlling for a while, even before his surgery, and you need some space. I encourage you to reach out to the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to discuss your situation. You love him, but you’ll need to evaluate if you can continue with things as they are.