Dear Abby: My husband and I were married for 38 years before we finally sought marriage counseling. During that time, I discovered he had an affair with my sister early on. I had a hunch he might have been involved with his uncle’s wife, too, which counseling later confirmed.
Recently, my sister was at our mother’s hospital, and being in the same room with her was really tough for me. I generally try to steer clear of family gatherings because of her.
I could use some advice. After all these years, how should I handle this? – Not more
Dear more: It’s time to take back your life. There’s nothing shameful about what happened. Speak to your sister and other women in your family about what you know regarding your husband. At the next family function, be open about why you’ve been avoiding those gatherings so they don’t mistakenly think it’s their fault.
Dear Abby: I find myself attracted to a colleague at work, but I keep turning down any prospects with her. She engages me in conversation and seems friendly, yet when I attempt to approach her, I get shut down. She mentions having a boyfriend, which leaves me feeling confused about her friendliness.
We occasionally work closely together, and it creates this tension where I’m unsure about whether to express my interest. I ponder whether it’s worth asking if she’s still with her boyfriend and if she could refrain from personal chats while at work. It’s getting awkward because I want something more. What should I do? – Next to her in New Jersey
Dear next to her: It wouldn’t hurt to check in with her again about her boyfriend, but if she confirms she’s taken, it’s best to focus on a platonic work relationship. After work, you can seek romance elsewhere, since not all attractions are mutual.
Dear Abby: I dated a woman for three months, but she wanted to wait on physical intimacy until we were committed. Our time together was limited to weekends, and while we shared passionate moments, we never had sex due to her faith.
She mentioned that she didn’t feel a strong connection and thus chose not to continue the relationship. How can she feel this way when we were close to being intimate? Was I misled? – Totally confused in Texas
Dear Confusion: If she can’t reciprocate your enthusiasm, it’s time for a reality check from her. Consider the full scope of your connection, but ultimately, whether you were played is a question only you can answer.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, known as Jeanne Phillips, founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. For more help, reach out to dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
