Dear Abby:

I’m a woman in my mid-20s and have only experienced abusive and toxic relationships since becoming an adult. For years, even back in high school, I’ve been on the lookout for a “good guy” who truly respects and loves me without conditions.

About two years ago, I made a friend online. He lives in a different state, and I found him smart, witty, and sarcastic. We really clicked as long-distance friends, and I got quite attached. We’ve even progressed to a relationship.

A few months in, he and a mutual friend came to visit me for a concert. He’s mentioned wanting to move here for school. After being single for three years, I finally feel ready to love again.

But there’s a catch—my family doesn’t believe our relationship is legitimate. They think I’m being paranoid about it, which is frustrating because, oddly enough, my mother met my stepfather while he was in another state. I’m also unsure about how to explain this to my grandparents or my very strict and, frankly, racist dads. What should I do about people who think I’m delusional? – It seems real to me

Dear It Seems Real:

You’ve known this person for two years, but perhaps you might be rushing things a bit. While he might be exactly who he presents himself to be, you can’t know for sure until you meet in person.

If he’s thinking about moving for school, that’s a positive step. It’ll give you a chance to see if he really is the person you think he is and allow your family to get to know him, too. Plus, if your romance progresses, it’ll be interesting to see how he handles interacting with your family despite their biases.

Dear Abby:

I know I shouldn’t dwell on this, but I need some guidance. After four years battling Alzheimer’s, I was there for a friend who lost her husband. We have known each other for about 25 years. Recently, though, she stopped responding altogether and doesn’t reach out anymore. I check in with her almost daily, but she never initiates. I even sent her a card, but she hasn’t accepted it.

Her husband passed over a year ago, and while I understand grief is personal, I thought she would be coping better by now. Widows often ask why their friends abandon them after a loss, but what about those who end up abandoning their friends? – Lonely in the East

Dear Lonely:

Some people handle loss differently. You might have found a way to move on after losing a loved one, but not everyone can do that. Unfortunately, there’s no timetable for grief. You might consider inviting her to lunch and speaking face-to-face, rather than relying solely on texts or cards. That might encourage her to open up more.