Dear Abby

I’m grappling with the end of a friendship that has been incredibly important to me for many years. My best friend of 25 years just married someone she barely knew for a few months.

It caught me off guard how quickly everything happened, but I respected her choice and felt genuinely happy for her.

During one of our last heart-to-heart talks, she reassured me that I was invited and promised to keep me updated about the wedding date.

A few weeks later, I found out that not only had a date been set by accident, but there was also a wedding website, and I wasn’t on the guest list.

When I casually brought it up, she insisted that nothing was finalized. I felt hurt, confused, and almost dismissed. After everything we’ve shared over the past 25 years, her secrecy feels like a betrayal.

Being excluded from such an important moment and then being lied to feels like a breaking point. I’m torn between mourning the loss of our friendship and wondering if I’m overreacting.

Can you really recover from this kind of hurt? Or is it time to accept that our friendship has run its course? – It was left in the east

Dear Remaining: You’re not overreacting. Your friend’s “little white lie” seems to have grown into something much bigger.

I can’t blame you for feeling hurt by how she treated you. There could be various reasons for your exclusion that I can’t guess. Instead of being honest, she chose to mislead you, and that’s hard to accept.

Whether or not this should end your long friendship is ultimately your decision. If there is a future to your relationship, you might want to reflect more on her words moving forward.

Dear Abby

I remarried ten years ago to a widow whose first wife has passed away. On the anniversary of her death, he reaches out to her brother to express how much he loves her. This makes me uncomfortable.

I would have thought this was something they all understood during their marriage. He was a devoted husband. Am I wrong to think this is unnecessary and damaging? – Current wife of Pennsylvania

Dear Wife: You have every right to your feelings, but try not to compare your marriage to what your husband had with his late wife. While you may find happiness together, it’s not the same relationship.

I learned that, when a partner dies, love doesn’t just vanish. Your husband may cherish his memories of his first wife deeply; this doesn’t lessen his love for you.

He feels a need to send this message to his former in-laws. Focus on your current relationship and avoid unnecessary conflicts. Anniversary messages won’t resurrect anyone.

Dear Abby

After my father passed away, I delved into our family genealogy. Everyone, even his family, sees him as a World War II hero.

However, while researching military records, I discovered it was all a façade. In my view, he committed “stolen valor.” Should I reveal the truth, or leave things as they were? – Truth in the West

Dear Truth: Your father has moved on. If you feel compelled to correct the record, share your findings with your family and tell them what you discovered.