Considering Adoption: A Complex Journey

Many prospective adoptive parents are grappling with two intense emotions that pull them in different directions. On one hand, there’s this strong urge to open their hearts and homes to children who need them. On the other hand, doubts creep in. Are you really ready for this? Will the journey ever feel manageable? Is there perhaps a simpler way to go about it?

If it’s something you feel called to, there’s a belief that support will come. For those feeling a tug to help children in need—especially the many older children stuck in the foster care system or aging out without a family—this calling is particularly pressing.

In Georgia alone, around 700 children age out of foster care each year. Nationwide, that number exceeds 20,000. Just think about it: for kids like Dela Lago, an adoptive parent at Bethany Christian Services, there’s often no one to reach out to during tough moments. When their car breaks down or they’re in an emergency room, the lack of support can be overwhelming.

When these children leave the foster care system without stable placements, they face significant challenges. Issues like finding and keeping a stable home can leave them struggling, and many end up with lower incomes and heightened barriers to employment. Additionally, rates of mental illness, substance abuse, and legal problems are notably higher among them.

These kids are in critical need of help. They represent some of the most vulnerable among us.

Adopting older children isn’t straightforward. They often come with their own trauma and are at a stage where they’re working to assert their independence, which means testing boundaries. They want to discover who they really are, and that journey can be complicated, even in stable circumstances.

Moreover, many older children have spent extended periods in foster care. They might have experienced multiple placements and fractured relationships. Sadly, even the most well-meaning adoptive parents can find that the absence of permanence has been a central source of these children’s struggles.

Making the choice to adopt an older child and ensure they have a nurturing and stable environment is immense and requires determination.

But remember, you’re not alone in this.

At Bethany Christian Services, where I work as the Georgia Line Director, we offer a wealth of resources backed by research designed for adoptive families. We provide coaching and even have youth support groups. Our comprehensive support aims to guide families through every part of the adoption journey.

Even if adoption isn’t on the table for you, connecting with our network of adoptive parents can significantly aid vulnerable children. Dela Lago chose Bethany specifically for these resources, realizing that community support would be essential for her family. She recognized she couldn’t do it all by herself.

This is possible thanks to individuals who may not be adoptive parents but are deeply invested in supporting families through various forms—whether as counselors, child welfare professionals, or just caring neighbors and friends.

Everyone has a part to play. Our own experiences—however challenging—can prepare us to stand alongside others during their most difficult times. Wherever we feel drawn, there’s reassurance that we’ll be equipped to help.

This National Adoption Month, consider taking a step toward embracing that call. Get closer to understanding the needs of the most vulnerable. Whether you decide to adopt or join a supportive community, it’s a meaningful way to contribute.

God isn’t steering us toward an easy life or one grounded in mere common sense. Instead, we’re encouraged to love deeply and compassionately.

Related Articles

What the Bible Teaches About Adoption

5 Ways to Mentally Prepare for Adoption