Welcome to The Good Life, a newsletter focused on navigating modern culture while maintaining our sanity. This week, we’re looking at how to deal with “expert” advice, especially when it contradicts what feels right to you.
Recently, a friend sent me a report revealing that the medical community’s guidance on introducing peanut butter to children was fundamentally incorrect. I can recall when my kids were younger, and their pediatrician emphasized waiting to introduce various foods like eggs, milk, and peanuts to avoid potential allergies.
Honestly, I’m not sure why I didn’t listen closely back then. I didn’t really have a reason not to trust her; this was all pre-COVID and before any debates around transgender issues. Perhaps it was just a gut feeling, a sort of mother’s instinct telling me something was off. So, I introduced them to different foods whenever I felt it was appropriate, and guess what? It turns out that by giving them peanut butter early on, I likely helped prevent an allergy, according to that research.
Given everything parents have experienced with the medical field lately, I can’t help but question if our trust can ever be fully regained.
My sister is a doctor, so it’s not like my kids aren’t seeing their pediatrician every year for checkups or heading to the ER when necessary. Even so, I approach that whole industry with a healthy dose of skepticism now.
I should probably mention that whatever I express here isn’t medical advice—I wouldn’t want our lawyers to have any cause for alarm. So, just a heads-up.
After reading the peanut butter report, I reflected on times I chose to go against standard medical advice, and often, it seemed to benefit my children.
One lighter example came to mind regarding our oldest daughter, who had colic. Those who’ve dealt with a colicky baby will understand how tough it is, especially for a first-time mom. The only way she could sleep comfortably was on her stomach, but my pediatrician had warned me tirelessly about the risk of her smothering herself in her sleep.
“She wouldn’t even know it,” the doctor had said.
That left me in a tough spot, staying up nightly, trying to rock a crying baby to sleep and then attempting to transfer her to her bassinet without waking her. It was nearly impossible. I tried everything—swaddles, sleep sacks—but nothing seemed to ease her discomfort.
Then one night, I placed her down swaddled on her stomach. It felt almost miraculous. Just like that, the crying stopped. She slept for six straight hours! I remember waking up feeling rejuvenated, realizing that was the longest I’d slept in weeks. But then came the anxiety—what if the doctor was right? What if I had put her life at risk for a moment of comfort? I leaned over, half expecting the worst, only to see her sleeping soundly.
From that night on, I went against medical advice, and finally, we both got the rest we desperately needed.
I shudder to think how the first months of her life would have played out had I not made that choice, not to mention the boost of confidence it gave me as a new mom. My baby was in distress, and I did something real to help her.
There were more serious instances that made me realize doctors aren’t infallible. For instance, the treatment of my two daughters with asthma during COVID was truly the last straw. Why were they forced to wear masks if it only made their already compromised breathing worse? How could a speech therapist claim that wearing a mask wouldn’t affect their progress? And why did we confine healthy kids to their homes for online learning when the risks were minimal for them?
A logical person, even without medical training, can see that something doesn’t add up.
The takeaway here isn’t that doctors lack competence. Instead, it’s about recognizing that you can’t hand over every parenting decision to experts who, however well-meaning, don’t know your child the way you do. Sometimes, you have to weigh all the information and what your child seems to need and then make the choice that feels right for both of you.
What I Saw This Week:
I keep thinking about the Virginia teenagers—mostly girls—who gathered outside voting locations, pleading with adults to elect conservative school board members, hoping to avoid finding a boy in their bathroom or locker room. You can read more about that elsewhere.
If you have any questions or comments about the newsletter, feel free to reach out. I might not respond to everyone, but I do my best to read all messages. Building this community has been one of the highlights of this journey.
