A Reddit user who posted about her cousin’s wedding plans was urged by other users to stay away from the nuptials, while an etiquette expert told Fox News Digital that the couple’s plans violated etiquette standards.
The couple had some pretty unusual ideas for their wedding, including mailing cards to people who weren’t invited before the ceremony, user “joyousfoodie” said in a recent post on the website’s “r/WeddingShaming” subreddit.
In the post, the woman said that her cousin is getting married soon and is “planning a small garden wedding.”
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“It’s a semi-destination wedding,” she said, noting that it’s about five hours away. “Due to budget constraints, they wanted to keep it small with just family and friends.”
Although joyousfoodie was happy with the location and scale of their wedding, she had some concerns about the upcoming wedding.
According to the Reddit user, her cousin (not pictured) is planning a small garden wedding about five hours away from her home. (iStock)
“I learned that the bride and groom were sending ‘cards’ to people. [who] “They are getting married soon and they haven’t told each other before the wedding, ‘You are in our hearts on this special day,'” she wrote.
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“Their excuse was ‘curiosity and we care about them,'” joyousfoodie wrote, “but I don’t understand why they would send this right before the wedding.”
Additionally, joyousfoodie recently found out that she and other wedding guests will be required to work on the day of the wedding.
“We got an email from a couple saying, ‘Everyone please have a role and help us get ready,'” she said.
“I got an email from the couple saying, ‘Everyone will have a role to play and will help with the setup. After the ceremony, wedding party members will leave to take photos while guests set the tables for the reception,’ and I was like, What?!” joyousfoodie wrote.
She said the couple never asked guests if they could help, “just gave instructions.” [to] What should people do?”
The couple plan to send cards to people who weren’t invited before the wedding, letting them know they are “in our thoughts on this special day,” but Reddit users found this extremely strange. (iStock)
When joyousfoodie asked the couple to clarify about guests paying for gas and hotel fees to prepare for the wedding, they even added that people don’t see an issue with it.
“Where is the respect, etiquette and morals? They say they can’t afford to hire someone but have had time to save for almost 2 years,” the Reddit user said in the post.
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Joyoushoody says that instead of saving up for their wedding, the couple “went travelling instead.”
On the day of the wedding, the bride and groom’s parents will “run errands” for them, such as picking up the cake and flowers, joyousfoodie said.
One woman (not pictured) expressed her frustration with her cousin’s upcoming wedding plans. (iStock)
Additionally, brides “want to invite friends to their bridal shower, but some of those friends won’t be invited to the wedding,” she said.
In her post, the woman also wrote, “Best of luck on your upcoming wedding!”
Fox News Digital has reached out to joyousfoodie for an update or additional comment.
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Etiquette experts told Fox News Digital that the soon-to-be married couple’s plans violate most societal norms regarding weddings.
Rosalinda Randall, a California-based etiquette expert, told Fox News Digital in an interview that the couple’s “intentions in sending the notice may have been genuine, but it could have been taken as a flippant or even sarcastic compliment.”
Rosalinda Randall, a California-based etiquette expert, told Fox News Digital that sending a letter before the wedding likely won’t be well received. (Courtesy of Rosalinda Randall)
She said it would be much more appropriate and respectful to share the wedding news after the ceremony has concluded.
Instead of sending pre-wedding cards, couples can also post an announcement on social media and send “post-wedding postcards.”
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“You might consider including a note along the lines of, ‘It was just a small event. I wish we could have spent this day together. Thank you for all the well wishes,'” she said.
In recent years, “asking for donations for things like weddings, work equipment, travel, etc. seems to be becoming more common and acceptable,” Randall says.
“Asking for donations for weddings, work equipment and travel seems to be becoming more common and acceptable.” (iStock)
She continued, “I believe people are generous and willing to help, but when I see them shopping at designer stores, dining at fine restaurants and taking care of their luxury cars, I immediately look for the ‘unsend’ button.”
Other Reddit users were shocked by what joyousfoodie shared, tagging the post as “lame.”
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Many people said they would not attend.
“This wedding seems like a disaster. I personally might not be attending,” wrote a Reddit user named “trashbinfluencer.”
Trashbinfluencer said it was a mistake to ask guests to help set up.
Many Reddit users advised the woman to skip her cousin’s wedding. (Tiffany Hagler-Geard/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
“I really have no words for this uninvited wedding announcement (money grab?),” trashbinfluencer said.
User “andronicuspark” said the wedding seemed like a “very lame attempt at gift-grabbing.”
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“I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it. Thinking of you! (Praying),” said “andronicuspark,” advising joyousfoodie to skip the event.
“That’s when you decide you’re sick and don’t go. They are terrible hosts and quite frankly awful,” said user “byteme747.”
“I express regret. I’m not sorry, I’m not sorry. They’ve lost their minds, plain and simple.”
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Another Reddit user was even more blunt: “The only reason I’m on this is morbid curiosity,” wrote “Obrina98.”
The person added: “Tacky, tacky, tacky!”
