Billy Joel Opens Up About Dark Moments in New Documentary

In his latest documentary, “Billy Joel: And It Goes,” the renowned “Piano Man” artist shares chapters from his life that nearly silenced his music forever. Joel, who is currently facing brain damage, recounts two suicide attempts that led him into a coma.

Back in his early twenties, Joel was part of a small band called Attila with his good friend, John Small. At that time, he was living with his then-wife, Elizabeth Weber, and their son. The documentary delves into a complicated relationship that arose when Joel admitted he was in love with Small’s wife.

As Joel reminisced, he acknowledged the guilt he felt. “I was in love with a woman, and my nose was punched. I deserved it,” he reflected. Their friendship ended, resulting in the disbanding of Attila and a steep decline in Joel’s mental state.

“I felt very guilty about it. They had kids. It felt like a homewreck.”

– Billy Joel

Joel shared his struggles with depression, revealing that he sometimes slept in a laundry room. It was a dark time; he thought about ending it all, caught in a painful cycle of despair.

“I don’t want to live anymore,” he expressed, illustrating the depth of his struggles. “Tomorrow will be like today.” He was feeling trapped, and the thought of taking a definitive step seemed a way out.

His sister, a medical assistant, discussed in the film how she unintentionally contributed to his troubles by giving him sleeping pills. She expressed her distress over his overdose, stating that when she saw him in the hospital, she thought she might have caused his death.

After the first attempt, Joel recalled being “selfish” and feeling lost. Miraculously, he survived, thanks to the quick action of his friends. His second attempt involved ingesting furniture polish. Again, he was saved, but the road to recovery was challenging.

Reflecting on these experiences, Joel stated, “Even though our friendship was exploding, John saved my life.” Small mentioned that the pain felt like Joel tried to hurt him deeply, but he ultimately found it in himself to forgive.

Following his recovery, Joel felt like a “lost soul” and sought professional help. He learned to channel his emotions into music, which became transformative for him. The documentary captures this journey and his path toward healing.

Interestingly, Joel and Weber reconnected after these events and wed a few years later, with their relationship lasting until 1982.