Emily Ratajkowski’s Message to Women is Dark
This weekend, two distinct stories about womanhood and motherhood gained traction online. Emily Ratajkowski shared her honest thoughts on childbirth, divorce, sexuality, and being a single mother. Meanwhile, Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farm, who is a mother of nine, entrepreneur, and homemaker, is also in the spotlight.
There’s been a surge in TikTok trends and celebrities framing men as adversaries, which has stoked the anti-marriage sentiment. Yet, a new article suggests that women might be the ones ultimately losing out.
Columnist Ingrid Jacques, in a piece for USA Today, expressed concern over a trend she refers to as “hetero-pessimism.” This term captures the growing disappointment and increasing hostility some women feel towards their relationships with men. Jacques argues that viral phenomena like “divorce riots” and anti-male narratives are deepening the rift between genders.
She highlights studies indicating that married women tend to be happier than their single counterparts and that they often live longer and earn more, which seems to counter the prevailing narrative that marriage is a dead-end.
Relationship Experts Challenge Divorce Assumptions
Jacques argues that contemporary media fuels an unfavorable view of traditional relationships, referencing popular books like “Yesterday,” which centers around so-called “tradwife” influencers.
In the narrative, the men are often depicted as either incompetent or part of a toxic patriarchal structure. At one point, the husband in the novel is referred to as a “freak.”
The book’s description reveals it to be a blend of dark humor and a critique of societal norms surrounding tradition and femininity.
This shift in perceptions coincides with declining marriage and birth rates across the U.S. According to U.S. Census Bureau data from December, it’s projected that by 2025, just 47% of American households will consist of married couples, which is a drop from around 66% fifty years ago. Only 37% of these married households will have children, down from 54% in 1975.
Jacques connects these trends to liberal ideologies, suggesting that those on the left are more likely to reject conventional family structures than conservatives.
She noted a cultural shift where women are often praised for being free from marriage. Figures like Elizabeth Gilbert, author of “Eat, Pray, Love,” and Ratajkowski have publicly embraced life post-marriage.
Comedian Leslie Jones was outspoken about marriage, labeling it as “legalized slavery,” and noting that her married friends often find themselves divorced.
Are Women Satisfied with Their Lives?
A recent American Family Survey revealed a striking difference in life satisfaction among women. About 37% of conservative and 28% of moderate women between 18 to 40 describe themselves as “completely satisfied,” in stark contrast to just 12% of liberal women in the same age group.
Trends like TikTok’s “divorce glow-up” reflect a cultural moment where women share celebratory before-and-after photos highlighting their newfound freedom post-breakup. Jacques points out that these women often appear much happier in their ‘after’ pictures.
Quoting Louise Perry, who wrote “Against the Sexual Revolution,” Jacques suggested that modern hook-up culture leaves young women feeling isolated, lacking genuine friendships with men.
Jacques and Perry both suggest that perhaps a return to marriage, rather than a complete rejection of men, could help bridge the cultural divide. She concluded that while this may not apply to everyone, a dialogue between men and women is essential, as minimizing the importance of marriage won’t lead to a better future.
